walking in LA

So, from my new house, I take a new bus. My old bus stop was directly in front of my apartment complex, and it dropped me off almost exactly in front of my office building. My new bus is 5 blocks from my house, and five long blocks from my office.

Well, 5 blocks is not exactly a marathon. I am still willing to walk that far. It takes about 10 minutes to walk it. Well, 15 to the office. Not that long, not that far.

Except when you add it up, I’m walking 40 minutes every day.

I’m gonna quit my gym! This is serious exercise!

I don’t know how I will feel about it when it is raining, but right now, that is not a problem.

The real problem is that there is MAJOR construction on the downtown end of my walk. Two very long blocks of dust paths and broken concrete, tall gravel piles and pipes and ditches. That is when I think of the song “NObody walks in LA.”

But i’m walking in LA. Downtown LA, where the courthouse and my big tall office building is. Guess who else is walking in LA?

Suited men with expensive neckties. A single-file ant column of them, walking purposefully and swinging their briefcases through the dust and ditches.

It is so surreal it makes me smile.

Homey thoughts

So, I spent time unpacking all my things yesterday. As I was getting things put away, a “click” sounded, and everything went quiet.

And dark.

The power went out. It was about 6:30. uh oh. It was still light enough to see. I thought I remembered a little flashlight in one of my boxes. Oh good, here it is! While I was there, I unpacked some more of that box.

I remembered a candle too. But I didn’t remember where the matches where. I wondered for a little bit whether my car would be locked in the garage if the opener didn’t have power. Hmm…

But then I thought I had better put together my bed before it got dark. I didn’t want to sleep on the floor. I put the bed together…Where is that dust ruffle? Oh well, I’ll find it later. It was nice to lay down on the bed for a moment.

Chris came by later with his dinner. By that time the power was back on. He and I worked to get my home stereo/theater system set up. We used my old shoe rack, a piece that is essentially narrow shelving made of nice red wood. It matches the rest of my furniture, so why waste it in the closet? That garage sale I bought it from has been good.

We racked everything on the shoe rack. Then came wiring. Bless Chris’s heart! He sat down on the couch and said, “I’m glad my girlfriend is a video conferencing expert. You know what to do.”

How many guys would step aside and let their girlfriends wire the stereo? Wiring this stuff is my JOB, but still, most guys would shove me out of the way. He is very secure, thank heavens.

When I was almost done, he pointed to the window. “Look!” he said. A beautiful flaming pink sunset was all across the sky.

That was MY view.

Chris and I sat on my couch for a moment and looked at the beautiful sky. It faded quickly, I was glad we stopped to see it.

Hooray! I’m a homeowner!

So, I got the keys to my new place on thursday. What a big thing huh?

It had been an exciting week. This was the week my boss hit the panic button, which means that he took me into his office for the last hour of every day to rip into me. Thursday was the worst day. He took special aim and let loose with a scattershot volley of conflicting and irrational statements about my abilities, my intelligence and my unwillingness to do work.

Just run-of-the-mill stuff for offices in tall buildings. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get to me. I spent thursday evening in tears. ALL thursday evening and part of early friday in tears.

BUT! I got my homeowner keys on thursday. And I had it all planned out: I would grab the keys and rent a Rug Doctor, and get to work on those “as-is” carpets I’d just bought.

My honey-sweet boyfriend met me at the building. He took a photo of my bleary self opening the door with my own keys for the first time. Isn’t that wonderful? Then he gave me a long extended hug as I wailed.

But I had cleaning to do! The doctor is IN.

I filled up the big red machine with soap juice and water. Chris (did I mention how sweet he is?) ran out to get some food for dinner. Me and the Doctor were going into consultation.

Fire that puppy up. Here we go. Pull and squirt, Push and suck.

Stupid Boss! How dare he talk to me that way.


I don’t know what he expects from me, he wants perfection but in the next breath he admits that it’s not possible.


What am I going to do? I don’t have the time or the resources to stop the failures from happening, but his solution is just to give me more work!




Man, I feel totally hopeless. I’m the one that has to face the users and be on the front lines when conferences fail. I am the one who is bringing attention to the problem in the hope that it can be fixed. But I’m not getting any help, I’m only getting blamed.


My back hurts.

I finished most of the rug, I had blisters and a sore back, and very red eyes.

My darling man brought me a yummy McDonald’s salad, so I ate a little dinner, even though my stomach was still upset.

I had to come back the next day to finish that last little bit. Friday. I wanted to stay there that night, but I had no energy.

And i needed energy, because MOVING DAY was approaching.

More Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

I have gotten more interest in my post about Queer Eye than almost any other post I’ve ever done. This just illustrates that the show kicks butt!

Bravo, Bravo!

First of all, Carson is the star. He is the witty quipper of the show. Love him! And I loved the episode where he tried on the speedos. Oh my! And he says he doesn’t work out! Liar liar pants on fire…

But my second favorite is Ted, the food guy. He does have very good food ideas, and he’s so nice. I mean, he comes up with little digs every once in a while, but he is very careful to try and get food things that are what the straight person likes. I can’t believe he sent to florida to get kosher Foi gras! Is that sweet or what? He’s so earnest and I like his deep voice.

The rest blur a little for me…Except Kyan, the grooming guy. He ATTACKS the bathroom for styling products.

But here are the questions that must be asked:
What happened to the black guy? THere was a black guy, a culture guy, on one or two of the episodes. Did he disappear? I found no mention of him on the website yesterday. Umm…what is going on?

I thought that maybe they were doing a rotating thing, bringing on a “guest Gay guy.” That would be cool, don’t you think? I’d like to see the gay guys flirt with each other a little…You know? Add some chemistry. Right now, they are mostly teasing the straight guy. That’s funny too, but the more the merrier! I could totally see having a guest gay guy working out.

Take a clue, bravo!

I will say, I am thinking more about my own home now. What would Kyan think of my bathroom? I know Carson would not approve of the things in my closet right now. I need to go shopping.

And I need to redecorate.


Man, there are a million crazy things for sale on TV. We are crazy crazy shoppers. And we watch a lot of TV. What a better marriage of ideas in American culture:
shopping while watching TV

I personally have a rule:
Never buy anything on TV while watching the infomercial.

Hence, I have never bought anything I’ve seen on TV. Sometimes I think about the stuff I have seen, though. Because that’s another rule I have:
If I see something I think I want, walk away. If I think about it later, maybe then I really did want it and I will go back and get it.

But a lot of the time, there are things that you may be very excited about while under the spell of the infomercial, that you really have no earthly need for.

There are some things I still would like to try. That Epil stop ‘n’ spray stuff…Does it really work? Or does it peel the skin off the sprayed area right after the camera stopps rolling?

And that REVO hair styler…It looks so cool. But there is NO WAY that would actually work. I mean, the mechanics of it probably would take the curl out of my hair. But then I would be left with highly staticked fly-away hair.

Maybe straight-hair people don’t realize that most curly-hair people are blessed with very fine hair. They associate curly hair with pubic hair, which is usually coarse. But curly HEAD hair is usually very fine.

Anyway, the seductive REVO hair styler is doomed to fail. The hair-dos would be destroyed with the first breath of air that hit them.

Those Minwax commercials make me start eyeing my furniture. Hmm…Does that need to be refinished? It’s SO EASY!

And there is a commercial for a STEAM BUGGY. Wow, what a great device! Not only does it clean all your entire house without harmful chemicals, it can iron your clothes. That one really had me fascinated. I am against harmful chemicals. First, because they kill us and make babies come out funny. AND because they cost so darn much! The power of STEAM can revolutionize the world.

Man, that was hard to resist. But the almost $200 price tag helped me out.

What else?

Oh yeah! The FOOD SAVER! This is really the coolest thing. I may eventually buy this, really. Really!

Of course, this is the last infomercial I saw.

It VACCUUM SEALS the food in your whole house, keeping it safe from all kinds of buggies, and worse from going stale. You can make up a plate of food, stick it in a FOOD SAVER baggie, suck all the air out of it, and then freeze it for a whole year. Homemade TV dinners!

All the money I could SAVE with this $120 device.

I don’t know. I’m gonna wait a little while longer. We’ll see if I’m still excited about it after I see the next infomercial.

Got…to clear…My…Head…

i have been working so hard this week. And last week too.

Maybe I’m a wuss. I know there are those people who work 60 hours a week on a regular basis. I’m losing my mind with 50.

Part of my problem this week is that I had my expectations raised. I HOPED for stuff. Expectations are crazy stuff. I think I’m better off having expectations, HOPES. It keeps me reaching to be the best I can be.

However, expectations never never never never turn into exactly what you expected. This is the beauty of life, really. We are surprised at every turn. We expect that stream of hot water in the shower, but it is always wetter somehow that we expect.

Life is so FULL. Sensorily full, yes. And at the same time it is even fuller, more rich and complex than our senses can grasp. There MORE out there. More..more..I can’t point to it, I can’t say what, but I can see bits of it through the chinks.

And so I am fascinated by the chinks. Sometimes it is frustrating to focus on the REAL HERE AND NOW.

ugh…I was happy being muse- ical. Don’t bother me with facts! Detach, relax and ride through like a spectator.

Except, once in a while, I actually want to do something. It grabs me and becomes really important. Maybe it’s something I want to do from inside myself. Or maybe it’s something other people push upon me.

Like work. It becomes very important at work to do something, enough that it makes me really want it. And then I work really hard to make it happen; I’ll stay long hours and think and examine and try. I’ll get frustrated and stay awake when I should be sleeping, pushing and prodding at the things in the way of me getting what I want.

When it’s a work thing, it pisses me off. I am not employed at my dream job. This thing I do for a paycheck is not the thing that moves my soul.

And yet. Picasso still had to clean his brushes. Life is full of things you must do that are not high and lofty. My job is certainly a good one. There are many aspects about it that I enjoy.

I have learned that it’s best not to get too involved in work. Things have a way of working out. I can become desperately impatient. My intensity should be reserved for other things, not the corporation.

Some corporations inspire that kind of intensity. Remember Apple Computers in the 80s? Maybe the attorneys where I work take that kind of joy and thrill out of their work; I am sure it can be very challenging. They pull the 50-60 hour weeks. I hope they do enjoy their work.

Well, once in a while, the corp. asks me to do something that is HARD. It takes concentration, it takes intensity. Those are the times I lose sleep. It’s also those times that I get frustrated with work. “Why can’t they give me what I WANT? What i NEED?”

I wouldn’t get frustrated if I didn’t need stuff. And I could think better if I weren’t frustrated. Thinking more clearly would help me figure out how to get what I need.

See the problem here?

There is a fine line here. Holding, but not grasping. Balance.

Makes me think of the Tao. I love the Toa Te Ching! Great great work. You have to let it go.