There’s a goose, a fox, a bag of grain and you have to get them all across the river

There’s a mind puzzle that goes like that. The goose, the fox and the grain have to get across the river. But your boat will only carry one at a time. And if you leave the goose with the fox, the fox will eat the goose. If you leave the goose with the grain, the goose will eat the grain. So how do you get them all across the river?

I want to exercise in the morning. I also want to beat traffic in the morning. I want to write in the morning. I like to ride the bus to work when I can.

So…I have been exercising to a tape in the morning. But I’ve been doing the same exercise tape for almost two years, and I think I’m getting a repetitive stress problem in my side. So, I need to change that.

Also, if I go to work earlier in the morning, I will spend approximately 1/3 to 1/2 less time on the road. Maybe I should join a gym near my job, leave way early in the morning and exercise on the other side of the commute.

However, that would mean giving up the time (not that often, but sometimes I do) I would have to write if I rode the bus to work.

Hmm…Come to think of it, I have not been that successful at writing on this particular bus. I just end up getting distracted. I used to be very good at writing and riding…But I haven’t been very productive with original work lately, on the bus or otherwise.

Anyway. THe bus has the advantage of being less wear on my car, and morally superior to burning up my own personal gasoline.

But it means that I spend more time on the road than I would if I drove in early to work out at the gym.

Also, if I drove in early, I would actually work out longer and potentially be a hardbody. I can dream.

So, okay, if I drove in at 5:30 am I would get a good workout in and spend less time in traffic (and therefore less gasoline), it would take care of my desire to exercise.

But I would have to develop another habit to set aside time to write everyday.

It’s always a balance….

What’s with the hot?

i was all proud of my assimilation to the heat. I have gotten to where I can tolerate it so much better.

When I first moved to California, I was rendered immobile by 80 degrees. It was like superman and kryptonite…I fell to the floor in a jelly and couldn’t move.

But I can move in it now! I can accomplish housework and perform feats of concentration, such as reading or paying bills.

That is, until last weekend. I went to Sacramento, and it was as if the kryptonite had been distilled.

It’s a heat wave.

New Things

Chris said to me last night “If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t want to do it. You’d just complain that you were bored.”

Boyfriends can be so annoying when they are right.

The fact is, I had a disappointment yesterday. I have been working to set up a writing group, a class that I would lead and charge money for. Not a lot of money, but I wanted to get a group of people that were more dedicated. My thought is, if people have to pay for something they will value it more.

So I wanted to get a group of people dedicated to writing. I also believe that I would be a good leader and teacher of such a group.

I made reserved a community room and put up flyers. I prepared handouts and guidelines for the students. I had a lesson plan and extra pens.

I got to the facility early and waited. I had no idea how many people would come!

No one came.

I choose to believe that I need to learn how to advertise the group better. In fact, I have a lot to learn about promotion and advertising. My book needs a lot of that too.

I don’t know much about it. I will have to learn.

how do these things happen…?

I haven’t been in my house for a full year. And the house is old and quaint. I have decided to distract myself for the extreme heat by doing some house projects.

I am refinishing a door.

Basically, there was some peeling on the paint in a very obvious place. It looked kinda shabby, and the only way to repair it is to strip all the paint off and repaint it.

The door are very pretty, with the sort of detailing that doesn’t happen anymore. Nothing too ornate, just three indented panes with a little detail around the edge of each pane.

I thought about how many layers of paint had been put on that door over the last 56 years, and I thought the details would really pop out if I were to reduce it to a mere 2 layers.

Stripping paint is not a job for the faint hearted. Or the easily distracted. Fortunately, I am neither. But it is still a LOT of Paint to get off.

Of course the first thing was to unscrew it off it’s hinges, so I can lay it flat. I had to use a little stripper just to find the screw under all the paint, but I accomplished it.

Then, I had to take the doorknob off. The doorknob looked worse for the wear.

We will need a new knob. Which is an interesting thought. What sort of knob do I want?

Then I notice…almost every doorknob in my home is unique. How did such a variety of knobs get into this house? I think there are 15 knobs in my little house, with about 10 unique models.

They have different shapes, a lot of different finishes. How did that happen? was there some kind of freak reason to replace the doorknobs everywhere?

Doorknobs are not as cheap as I would like them to be. About 25 bucks. Not much for just one, but it’s a little pricier to buy 15. I will, however, be buying 15. I am pleased with the thought of uniformity in my doorknobs.

Ask to the Answer

Okay, i thought of what I want to write about. It’s disorganized, but let me see if I can explain it.

“Open-Minded” used to be a popular phrase. I don’t hear it as much as I used to, but certainly, “Closed-Minded” is a well-established bad thing.

I am seeing more and more the stance that used to connote open-minded as being a closed minded one.

I met a woman at a social event, and she worked with gangster kids. This caught my interest right away. ‘Tell me more about that. I am astonished at the lack of attention given to helping kids stay out of gangs.’

She was surprised at my interest. “What do you want to know?”

I said that I thought we needed to ask until we got an answer. That we should not stop and be satisfied with the bad situation that our children are in.

She was taken with that idea. To ask until you find an answer. But she wasn’t sure you could ever find an answer. In any question, really.

She had a good point. What happens when you find the answer? Are there questions with no answers?

I believe no. There are no questions without answers.

But then, like the hitchhiker’s guide tells us, are you sure you are asking the right question?

Often, the answer to a question will be another question. And when you reach that the question/answer to the question, have you made progress?

I believe yes. I believe that as we sincerely question, even if our questions result in more questions, the understanding broadens. And when we understand we can do more or better than we have before.

I like people who question. I like it when people ask. But I have noticed there are people who ask, but do not believe in the answer. Not that they think the answer isn’t correct, but the deny the premise of an ‘answer’s existence.

They enjoy questions, but only for their own sake. No answers required, or, indeed, allowed. These clever people can deflect any proposed answer with reasons to deny it.

It is as if they wish only to maintain the integrity of the perfect unanswerability of the question.

They stick tot their question until a new more intrigiung question presents itself. Sometimes, this question is what I would call and ANSWER to the first question. But, they don’t think of it that way.

I am interested in asking to the answer. Questions are TOOLS to me, not toys.


I am feeling like writing.

But I am full of too much to write.

Okay, so I will write a list. Maybe it will mean something when I am done.

lipstick (onsale, and slightly melted from being left in the car) VINTAGE MAUVE
BIG coby headphones
pretty gold and jewel earings
white shirt with french cuffs. The shirt WOULD be crisp if I had ironed it, but I didn’t, so I am wearing
Danskin hoodie, teal, which I bought while wandering around bored after work in San Diego. Work trips leave you out of sorts.
Ipod in my pocket, which is not visible, so I shouldn’t count it but I am anyway.
Jeans, with the up-and-down white threads that were fashionable last year in the same way that acid wash was fashionable in the late 80s and which will probably look as dated even faster but which make me feel slightly cool even though I know they are not really cool anymore, if I were a fashionista—oh, and there is a hole on the right thigh.
brown suede nike high-tops

Oh yeah, and a silver watch which is probably broken since it is not waterproof and got overly humidified in san diego and now has condensation on the inside of the glass.

hmmm…That doesn’t really leave me with things to talk about. Maybe I need another list

I know I need to make a list of the things I want to do. i have a lot of good things happening. I tell you the truth, I feel strange with out more stress in my life.

My projects seem small and insignificant.

i remember when I worked at McDonald’s as a teenager. I remember the slow times. I felt like I was stuck in molasses. I couldn’t move fast, because when it was slow, there was no reason, no pressure to do so.

My manager would tell me to move faster. It was a high-pressure environment. But I just couldn’t be inspired.

I did okay. I was never fired from mcDonald’s or reprimanded in any way. I did speed up when the customers lined up.

But, when you don’t have something pushing you, it’s hard to push yourself.

So, i feel like writing. But I have to get my thoughts a little better organized before I can begin.

I guess i need to take the time to do that.