Prior to working at my present job, I had developed certain communication habits.
As a female, I trained myself constrain my workplace communication to actions, objects and deadlines. That was my conception of model behavior.
I would never talk about my feelings. I have considered it the height of unprofessional behavior to talk about feelings. I think many women in the workplace, especially in technological professions, share that feeling.
There are two reasons to avoid talking about feelings:
First, a very common way to demean women is to say, “You are too emotional.” To be called ’emotional’ is another way saying impaired judgment, or not fit to do the work. I myself would be inclined to veer far away from any hint of emotion.
Second, to begin talking with male colleagues about feelings in the workplace, to be brutally honest, opens the door to unwanted sexual advances. If I start taking about feelings with a man, he might just talk about a whole other set of feelings that I DON’T want to know about.
But, I’ve been struggling to communicate with my current co-workers, and I’ve been hearing feedback about how some things are not working out right. My response has been to become all the more crisp when discussing actions, objects and deadlines.
Not quite the right path.
By the time you have to define respect, it’s most likely too late.
but I guess I’ll have to find out.
Viktor Frankl would say that I can always decide how I think about the situation.
The grapevine going north, with a dusting of snow on the rolling golden hills
I would scarcely believe that this view is Los Angeles County:
The five is home to semis. Highway 5 is their migration path is along this stretch.
Sometimes it’s good to be far away.
I spent the day in Bakersfield. Bakersfield is a cute town. It has a reputation of being on the edge of nowhere, but it has a lot of where.
The grapevine pass was full of snow. It is strange to see the snow on the rolly goldy hills. I took pictures, but I haven’t got them online yet.
We all must rely on the system for things.
There are many interlocking systems that we use. We need them.
But then there is the system. Work the system. Beat the system.
Fight the system.
It can come up behind you and smack you on the head.
But is it your friend?
So Chris just got his turntable working.
And I am sittng in the acoustically correct spot on the loveseat listening to Eleanor Rigby off the Beatles Revolver album
the little cracklies and pops from the vinyl are so cool.
much against my will I have become enamoured of the beatles. It’s inspired me to break out my harmonica and play along.
Now we have access to all the best vinyl forever and ever because we’ll never move again, and the turntable will not have to be packed away again.
we encounter stupid or mean people ( often they are both)
The best, the only defense…is to do the right thing. The non-specific right thing, which you would have (or should have) done anyway
Doing the right thing is the best defense anyway.
It’s impossible to anticipate which specific way the stupid and mean things will arrive. There is no way to think of enough rebuttals to cover them all.
The only way to proceed is to simply do the right thing.
well, nobody who IS anybody, anyway.
I take the bus though, and my co-workers think I’m crazy.
But I tell you, it’s getting very popular.
THIS VERY MORNING, there were 15
people standing up in the aisle because there weren’t enough seats.
I’ve thought this for a long time about Math.
Math (and science, to a degree) is perfect. It is a universe with perfect lines.
It is NOT real. It is completely manufactured. It is completely defined. Nothing that math can do is without meaning.
and that’s because it was invented.
My PMP stuff is the same. It is a universe of perfectly defined terms. The books constantly says, “You may THINK you know, but you don’t know until we say you know.”
It is a world of defined terms…words that, in fact, may have a meaning competely different outside itself, but a meaning which must be abandoned at the door.
Because anything that doesn’t match it is rejected.
heard an interview with Madeline Albright this morning. She said that she credited her success with learning to interrupt.
She said that many times women sit back and think ideas, but dont’ say them.
An excellent point.