It’s barely three weeks before I go back to work. People tell me I’m soooo lucky to have my husband handle the child while I go away. But it is hard to hand off.

Thing is, I love my baby, but I love my husband too. And my baby requires all kinds of specificity. She needs things exactly so and exactly this way and exactly this time. My husband needs the opposite. I mean, I can’t be leaning over him and telling him to do things exactly exactly.

But Veronica needs it that way. At least I think she does. But maybe my way is not the only way that works.

So I have to let go and let Daddy figure it out. He has to “find his own path”.

Yesterday, the child didn’t go to sleep right away in her crib like she has the past several nights. I put her in her crib and went racing around to do all the night things I had to do so i could slam my head on my pillow and SLEEP. But the child wouldn’t sleep.

So I picked her up out of her crib and was wrestling her squirmy little body out of the contortions she gets into to try to calm her to sleep. I’ve done this before many many times but I was impatient and wanted to be asleep.

Chris offered to put her to sleep. So I handed her over.

I had put her in the crib at 9:30. Chris finally got her to be ASLEEP in her crib at 11. At first he sat with her, but when the game was finished he got up and walked with her and sang to her. And he came in to the bedroom to give me updates.

I was thinking, Aren’t you glad I did not give you updates this morning when she wouldn’t go back to sleep? But I didn’t say it. I stayed in my warm bed without sleeping while the child was calmed and finally put to bed.

I would like to say “Don’t look at her and sing to her when you are trying to get her to sleep. She thinks that is the most interesting thing ever and will stay awake for it. Just hold her and ignore her and she will drift off to sleep.”

But…maybe I wouldn’t have had any better luck getting her to sleep last night. Maybe it would have taken an hour and a half either way. I’ll keep my mouth shut and just be glad that Chris is going to keep on taking good care of her the best way he knows.