It seems funny, a tree falling in the forest, to realize how fully I always had the property rights to myself.

I fought very hard a number of times to have it.

I wonder, really, what I was fighting for?

but then, once you have a thing and you don’t have to struggle for it

if you can just leave that thing lying around anywhere and come back to it because nobody would take it because they weren’t interested

Then maybe its not precious.

Maybe it didn’t matter

hm

I don’t think that’s the right metaphor. I think instead, that the trick is like this. It’s MY magic wand. Only I can use it. Nobody else can make it work. So, nobody else wants it. But it is invaluable to me.

Yes, I fought for me many a time

and I won me. And i guess I still have to keep winning me.

Magic wands will go dormant if they are never used.

Yesterday, I spent some time playing the piano. I miss playing the piano. Naturally, I couldn’t play the upright piano. I had to play the keyboard because Veronica was asleeping. But i was trying to noodle out a jazz song that had been running through my head.

I was rusty.

But I still had it.

And i guess it’s part of the magic wand to keep waving it.

“Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” -Steve Jobs

there are reasons, Jobs. But I guess there are very few excuses.

Sometimes the heart is not so clear.

This post was a true note-to-self. I think it was as personal as a shopping list. But my heart says “write!”

I suppose that I am waving my wand by doing this. It’s my wand after all.