The new high water mark-TWO nights away from home

This second night was without tears.

ThAnk GOD.

She slept through the night, and I did too, but I woke up at 6:30. I betook myself to have the hotel breakfast and let daddy and daughter sleep.

THEY got up about 8. Then it was zoo, and lunch. We left the zoo for lunch, and I wanted a nicer place to eat. But we couldn’t make up our minds, she was starting to be sleepy, and so it was del taco in the hotel room.

She took a long nap,  though, and everyone rested during the afternoon. We decided to act like civilized people and not do anything strenuous. We all love shopping, so we went to a mall with plans to eat at a sit-down restaurant for dinner.

The mall was fun, and they were home to a Red Robin burger joint. We went in, and sat down in full view of a carousel horse that was part of the decor.

A horsey! A wooden horsey with a saddle to ride and everything! We visited the horsey several times throughout our stay. I had to repeat that it was for looking at, not for riding.

When I was able to sit down, I told Chris that there was a Red Robin in Anchorage.

“It was a spot that the churchy people would go to. A hangout spot for young adults and in particular the singles group.”
“We had one near Fullerton when I was going to University too. I avoided it,” he said.

“Well…I remember not being very fond of the one in Anchorage either…Did you have a time like that? When you were discovering what kind of places you would like to go to as an adult?”

That was the time in my life, trying things on because I picked them and not someone else. It turned out I didn’t really like Red Robin. I never understood the appeal. If it were up to me, I would have gone to the Java Joint (oh I wish it were still there…) or to a 24 hour diner. The 24 hour places never felt like they had to entertain you or be anything other than open.

Open was enough. Give me some food, and all the coffee refills I can drink until past midnight, and that’s what I want.

Until, of course, I got old enough to be more sophisticated and have some FAHNCY restaurant choices.

Tonight, fancy was sitting down and having a waiter bring the food. So Red Robin was perfect.

But Veronica didn’t like sitting still. We had to visit the horsey AND the bathroom multiple times.

The last time we went pee-pee, we emerged to wash our hands with some very decked out teenage girls.

These poor teenage girls at their version of fancy–Red Robin.

I felt pretty frumpy. But still…THey were VERY decked out and made up.

“What’s the occasion, ladies?” I asked, while leaning over Veronica to assist with the washing of hands.

“PROM!” they all said, slightly embarrassed.

Oh my. This was as time to be supporting and admiring of their efforts.

“You look lovely,” I said. Then i turned around to give Veronica her paper towel for the completion of hand-washing. It occurred to me to take it a step further.

“Look, Veronica! There are princesses here in the bathroom.”

She looked up at them with big eyes. They giggled. And because I was stuck between teenage glamour and three-year-old values, I said “Princesses have to go to the bathroom too.¬†Everybody poops.”

While they laughed a little harder, Veronica repeated the statement with great seriousnes,

“everybody poops.”

“she’s so cute!” the princesses said.

“Okay, Veronica…Let’s go tell Daddy you saw princesses. Say bye-bye Princesses!”

not going to get better for a while

I’m up to october 2009

It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I don’t want to read it. It’s the part that makes you cry in the movie…the part where you know it’s going to make you cry, and then it makes you not want to watch that movie.

But the movie is a really good movie. And you are glad that you watched it.

But you don’t want to watch that one part. That one part. But that one part is part of the movie.

I think i’ll just leave that part alone for a while.

One entry in my blog talked about Gut-ese, or learning to understand what my gut is telling me and listening.

My gut right now is telling me that it is going to get better at an undetermined time in the near future. I know that it has gotten better already.

But.

Experience tells me that bad S happens. That i have tried to call the bad stuff that has been happening ‘the new normal’ and make it okay.

It wasnt okay.

But it’s getting better now. It is. It’s been a stable better for weeks.

But my faith is very ragged. I have to have faith and keep my eyes on the prize.

And maybe that means not reading this blog for a little bit. I’ll finish it later.

two days of vacation

It’s not like we didn’t plan. And it’s not like she is the worst kid ever.

But we are spending two days away from home with Veronica,and this first night already sucks.

sobbing uncontrollably for 45 minutes straight.

from 6:30 to 10, varying forms of sobbing. Chris just emerged from the bedroom (we got a suite) to say she is asleep and that he does not relish the idea of a second night of this.

Thing is, she is too big for the hotel provided crib. So we bought a cot for her. She couldn;t deal with the cot. So we called for the crib after all. That HELPED, but she can’t lie straight in the crib. Poor thing.

I woke up at 6;30. Later than my usual wakeup time. I should be witty and funny, but I”m not.