There is a curve

As a parent, I’ve become involved in the breathless anticipation of


Baby is supposed to hold up her head, roll over, sit up and walk at a certain time.

She is supposed to do more as she gets older. Nap less, eat more, run, learn her alphabet and say please.

She’s doing fine, but there is that parental imperative to look ahead and make sure.

This is how humans grow. Except it seems to stop being tracked after a certain point.

at 6 months, they eat solid food.

At 13 (or so) puberty hits

at 16, they are the age to drive a car

at 18 they are mature enough to vote

age 21, they can drink alcohol

Then what? Do we all just stay at the same maturity?

Aren’t there milestones for me? I asked a psychology expert. She said that adult maturity is not well-researched.

So I am thrust back on my own life experience. What are the people I know doing? Who are the people I want to be like?

Where am I along the curve? Is there a curve? Do we flatline?

I think that perhaps the fear of mortality has kept us from looking for the curve. Because the curve has a beginning–birth–and an end


I don’t like thinking about death. That doesn’t make it less inevitable.

In any case, What are the candidates for progressive maturity? There is having a body of contibution to society. Children, a family, creative work, building something…that’s all fine for society.

But what about the soft skills? are we supposed to achieve patience and wisdom? How can we tell?

What is the difference between vapidity and longsuffering?

I don’t like this map-less territory. How do I know if I’m winning?

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