It’s not easy. I wishI could be enthused and delighted by another tea party. It can be fun. Mostly, it’s monotonous.

At this point. It’s been what feels like forever of caretaking her. I suppose it is only full time week 4.

It feels like I’m missing a secret. I shouldn’t have to go numb. But I do.

I am wondering if I can imagine another way of spending two hours alone with her.

One where I’m pleased to do it. It’s worth thinking about. She deserves to have me be happy to be with her.