Several jobs back, I was assigned to work with an older woman. I wasn’t aware for the first several weeks, but I’m sure she knew right away: I was hired to replace her.

Of course, as I was trying to work out what needed to be done and how and when, I asked her for help. What struck me most about her what her presence.

She was not to be rushed. She invited me to sit down, and talk it over. I recall she kept a china teapot with matching cups at her cube. With a manner than impelled me to slow down, she would ask me what I needed and I made sure to speak very politely to her. After talking for some time about this and that, she would answer my work concerns with “I will send you the documents on that. We have it all worked out, don’t worry.”

She never did send me anything. Still. I wasn’t too mad. She owned her space, and no one rushed her about anything. This woman had charm. It pulled me up in my chair, no slouching.  She was warm, don’t get me wrong. I wondered how she would be concerned about whether I had eaten, while so obviously not getting me the documents I’d asked for.

Without her help, I was rushing frantically to pick up the pieces and glue them back together. I admired her style and wished I could be like her.

Then again, they probably wouldn’t have hired me on if I were.
I’m not that way.

I’m the wild child, running from one action to the next, never willing to wait if there is another option.

Let’s go look! Let’s go find out!

Not charming. I wonder if there is a place I could learn her sort of charm?

Funny thing, charm is somehow a feminine characteristic. Men are charming, but only to females. If a man behaves charmingly to other men, it would be seen as a con.

That may be because charm is inherently expectant. My co-worker expected that things would go her way. Indeed, they did. She found another better job in short order.

Charming ladies expect to have doors opened for them. They will wait for it. Me? I rush through, not bearing the loss of time.

There has to be more than one kind of charm. Mine is action oriented.