The moon has been big and round. I walk the dog at night, now that it’s starting to be dark earlier I can see the moon.<\/p>\n
Nine years I worked at that job. Many many of those years hurt. I have the memory of a lot of walks when my mind wrestled with the troubles I had.<\/p>\n
Years of not knowing what exactly to do. Years of feeling trapped.<\/p>\n
and years of being very very determined to find a way.<\/p>\n
I looked up at the sky and saw a twinkling light. Oh, no, that is an airplane.<\/p>\n
And I remembered that song “Can we pretend that an airplane in the night sky is like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.”<\/p>\n
When that song came out I wished and wished that I could find a way to connect with my co-workers.<\/p>\n
That I could tell them in a way they would understand how frustrated I was and how much we needed to work together.<\/p>\n
I did try. I silent often, but I did try.<\/p>\n
Isn’t that how relationships work? Should I make a point out of every dissatisfaction? Or prepare a special confrontation…no, communication..of how I feel and what I’d like?<\/p>\n
That is what I chose to do. I chose to give a presentation. I am pleased with what I said.<\/p>\n
I was not pleased with how it was recieved.<\/p>\n
The next part was escalation. Was I willing to escalate?<\/p>\n
not further than I did.<\/p>\n
And.<\/p>\n
Now.<\/p>\n
It’s done.<\/p>\n
I remember crying into the airplane lights, wishing for a wish.<\/p>\n
It’s done.<\/p>\n
It happened. It counts. Not as much as it did while it was happening.<\/p>\n
I’m free now. And that counts for a lot.<\/p>\n
I’m not sure how much time to give to the painful memories. I do remember them. Yes I do. And…they are done.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The moon has been big and round. I walk the dog at night, now that it’s starting to be dark earlier I can see the moon. Nine years I worked at that job. Many many of those years hurt. I … Continue reading