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\nIt is not limited to transit. I\u2019ve been noticing men with their legs and elbows out in any chair they land in. At work, at church, at little kids\u2019 birthday parties.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d been invited to a kid birthday party, and in my circle of friends, that means there can be way more adults than kidlets. I had gone around the kitchen island to get some snacks, and was heading past the dining room table with all its seated parents to get to the living room.<\/p>\n
One dad had his chair pushed into the aisle, and his elbow thrown over the back of the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He politely moved right away to let me past.<\/p>\n
I gave him a shrewd look and said \u201cYou\u2019re really manspreading there.\u201d<\/p>\n
He\u2019s a cosmopolitan guy, and stretched further into the space to show how very manspreading entitled he could be, leaning into my accusation in hyperbolic humor.<\/p>\n
He knew what manspreading means. Do you?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve since realized that it\u2019s not universally known. Women started to complain about the space men habitually took up while riding on public transportation.<\/p>\n
This sort of thing is very familiar:
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\nIt is not limited to transit. I\u2019ve been noticing men with their legs and elbows out in any chair they land in. At work, at church, at little kids\u2019 birthday parties.<\/p>\n
I know as a woman, I am hyper-conscious of the space my body takes up in public space. Like it\u2019s an expensive\u00a0 piece of real estate and I\u2019m not sure I can afford it.<\/p>\n
I am not bringing this up to accuse men of entitlement. That\u2019s covered well elsewhere.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m reading a new book Presence<\/a>. The author, Dr. Amy Cuddy, gave this TED talk<\/a>. Go ahead and click\u00a0 after you\u2019re done reading my weekly wonder, it\u2019s good.<\/p>\n The book was written after the TED talk, and goes into so much more detail about how being positive and optimistic makes us better people. Happier people, more effective at our jobs, at anything we set our minds to.<\/p>\n So those entitled men spreading their body parts all over the landscape? Maybe they have something to teach me. I have been endeavoring to stick my elbows out and stretch my legs like I\u2019ve got a right to.<\/p>\n Why not?<\/p>\n Do you have any idea how FOREIGN it feels to let my knees fall apart and stretch my legs out under a table?<\/p>\n This is something girls are absolutely trained not to do.<\/p>\n Even standing at our full height without cocking a hip to seem shorter (assuming the woman in question is tall) is rare.<\/p>\n And high heels for short women. If some of you reading are unaware of manspreading, perhaps you are also unaware of another female phenomenon. True story.<\/p>\n People, I am unwilling to shrink myself anymore. I am sure I will fall into it sometimes, but I am moving into a bigger space, and I invite you to join me.<\/p>\n Hands on hip, wide stance, taking on the world.<\/p>\n It can\u2019t hurt and there is evidence that it helps.<\/p>\n Maybe you can learn how to fly. I\u2019d been invited to a kid birthday party, and in my circle of friends, that means there can be way more adults than kidlets. I had gone around the kitchen island to get some snacks, and was heading past the … Continue reading
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\nSome women I have met are so accustomed to wearing high heels that their calf tendon has shortened, and it is painful to be in flat shoes.<\/p>\n
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