I went swimming on Saturday. Well, I went to play in a pool with my daughter and her friends.<\/p>\n
I don’t swim very well. My daughter is also learning to swim. I bet she’ll be better than me any second. Neither of us likes to put our face in the water.<\/p>\n
But the real thing I’m trying to talk about is how I felt after. Swimming, even just playing in a pool, is very tiring. I had hoped that this tiring effect would mean my daughter would be low-key.<\/p>\n
It didn’t work that way.<\/p>\n
She was full of excitement and plans and activity.<\/p>\n
I was exhausted–as if I were neck deep in tar.<\/p>\n
Yes, I took a long nap. And I still felt immobilized with tired.<\/p>\n
I did not want to be so worn out. I had things I wanted to do. I have plans, projects and responsibilities. I can’t just sit this out.<\/p>\n
Although the exhaustion levels had varied, I had spent the last few weeks feeling unable to get things done.<\/p>\n
Which was strange, because before I had felt so energized and full of purpose–so recently.<\/p>\n
Now I remembered that sense of purpose distantly–like sound heard deep in water.<\/p>\n
Sunday was come, and the last day of the weekend. I had a committee meeting at church to be part of. I really had to get this stuff together, and so I tried to unstick myself.<\/p>\n
I was able to put together my notes during the sermon. What was wrong with me? Why was I waiting until the last minute?<\/p>\n
I met with our committee and mentioned how I was feeling stuck in tar.<\/p>\n
“Me too!” they all said.<\/p>\n
What? How is that possible?<\/p>\n
I had assumed that I alone was the one who disappointed herself and couldn’t get moving.<\/p>\n
But the other people said that the summer heat and lack of school structure was their reason for lacking oomph.<\/p>\n
I still feel like I have a bell jar of tired over my whole body. Somehow, though, it feels better not to be alone.<\/p>\n
If it’s not a uniquely personal failing, it’s easier for me to have mercy on myself.<\/p>\n
Hopeful self-compassion is a very good place to be in.<\/p>\n
Even while I’m stuck in tar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I went swimming on Saturday. Well, I went to play in a pool with my daughter and her friends. I don’t swim very well. My daughter is also learning to swim. I bet she’ll be better than me any second. … Continue reading