I started college as soon as I finished high school. I thought I’d have a head start and get done early, right?<\/p>\n
It took me a long time to finish. Stuff. Supporting myself, and family stuff.<\/p>\n
But I loved school so much. I love college and I wanted to keep going. Years went by when I couldn’t take any classes.<\/p>\n
It was a long deferred hope. And it was a cherished cherished cherished goal.<\/p>\n
Until one year, circumstances aligned and I could go FULL TIME for a whole semester. Then that glorious moment when I realized if I went ONE MORE full time semester I could actually graduate.<\/p>\n
That one year was the only time I had spend a full school year in college. All the night classes finally added up and I could spend a full year.<\/p>\n
What a year! Studying and reading and carrying fat books. These teachers shared their knowledge with me, and I looked at the requirements in the handbook. I checked them all off and I GOT MY DEGREE.<\/p>\n
The worst part about getting my bachelors’ degree? Being done.<\/p>\n
I loved sitting in classes and learning new things!<\/p>\n
What was I supposed to do now?<\/p>\n
Seriously. I’d had this nurtured hope for so many years. Once I’d accomplished it I didn’t really know what to do.<\/p>\n
I felt like I’d been travelling a paved road. It was steep, sure. But I always knew exactly where it was and how to travel it.<\/p>\n
Once they handed me my diploma, the road ended.<\/p>\n
It was the jungle, baby.<\/p>\n
Now if I had somewhere I wanted to go, I had to break out a machete and cut a trail.<\/p>\n
That’s a different thing altogether.<\/p>\n
It’s very nice to have the trail already laid out. All the milestones and detours specified.<\/p>\n
It’s beautiful.
\nBut going on my own? That’s a mess.<\/p>\n
I’m not likely to get there directly.<\/p>\n
And it’s an unanswered question of where “there” even is.<\/p>\n
I’m finding it’s changing a lot.<\/p>\n
Lately, I think it’s even more important to pay attention to what I am looking for in this path.<\/p>\n
There are still other people in the jungle, and they will come alongside and pull me onto their path.<\/p>\n
I can get swept into their orbit, and be influenced by their idea of where we are supposed to go.<\/p>\n
Yet, in the end, I am the one who knows where I am aiming for. Other people can’t tell me what I want.<\/p>\n
It’s better if I listen to where I want to go. I’m the only one who knows that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I started college as soon as I finished high school. I thought I’d have a head start and get done early, right? It took me a long time to finish. Stuff. Supporting myself, and family stuff. But I loved school … Continue reading