“I have never seen you with your hair down before. It looks amazing!”<\/p>\n
I had known this friend for years. I’d had this hair for years. But something had been changing.<\/p>\n
There’s a story in Alaskan Road Rules about my travails with my hair. When I wrote it, I thought I was the only one. That my special problems as a female with naturally curly hair were something no one else would understand.<\/p>\n
When that story\/essay was released into the world, I discovered that I was not alone. Almost every woman had a story about her hair.<\/p>\n
I loved hearing how my story moved these other women.<\/p>\n
Yes!<\/p>\n
But that was not real life. I tied my hair up every day. I had work to do. I had to be taken seriously.<\/p>\n
I tied my hair back. Everyday. I had a rather hostile work environment, and I didn’t want any part of me that wasn’t part of the generic silhouette of what a person with that job should be.<\/p>\n
Until that job let me go.<\/p>\n
At that point, I was even MORE nervous about being different. But the next job I got had a different prototype for their employees. There were a lot of visible tattoos, and people were encouraged to be themselves.<\/p>\n
A lovely African American woman started encouraging me to let my hair down. Hmm…<\/p>\n
I wasn’t at that job long, but it was the first place that really made me think.<\/p>\n
A few months ago, I went to an open mic night locally. I had my hair down and I read my Curly Top story from Alaskan Road Rules.<\/p>\n
It ran a bit long, but the MC, a gorgeous young African American woman, told me she identified with the story.<\/p>\n
Thing is, I wasn’t that person anymore. I had learned to be okay with the burden of my hair. Reading out loud the shame and insecurities of that girl and woman that I used to be felt surreal.<\/p>\n
Like looking at a high school yearbook.<\/p>\n
I know better know.<\/p>\n
Am I really old enough to be over it?<\/p>\n
Maybe I’m over this one thing. But insecurity and shame are still big players in my life.<\/p>\n
My hair gets to be what it wants to be. I try to direct it, but for the most part, it’s going where it wants to go.<\/p>\n
For me, as I carry my insecurities still, am I ready to be as free as my hair now is?<\/p>\n
I had to learn to trust my hair. And I also had to learn to trust the people around me to accept me and all that I am, which includes me hair.<\/p>\n
Not everyone loves it. Even *I* don’t love it all the time.<\/p>\n
But me and my hair have a right to be here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I have never seen you with your hair down before. It looks amazing!” I had known this friend for years. I’d had this hair for years. But something had been changing. There’s a story in Alaskan Road Rules about my … Continue reading