A couple years ago, I was invited to a party with a lot of college professors. I found myself sitting next to a professor emeritus.<\/p>\n
I was nervous to go to this party, because I didn’t know many people. I’ve always felt out of place around highly educated people. I had to find a way to justify my presence.<\/p>\n
I would start talking; explain some of the more interesting stories about myself. I would want to come up with something impressive I had done.<\/p>\n
I could go the other direction too, come up with stories that explained why I was behind and backwards. I found that if I made them colorful, people would listen and possibly forgive my awkward ignorance.<\/p>\n
That was the hope anyway.<\/p>\n
But it could be exhausting, making sure to get in my stories of explanation, and I could find myself the one doing all the talking. I wished that I could find another person who would tell me about themselves. Because what I really wanted was connection.<\/p>\n
As I was getting ready for this party, I told myself to tone it down. I wanted to listen to other people.<\/p>\n
At the party, I was introduced to people, and I was trying to start conversations. And then I encountered this professor emeritus. We exchanged names, and I asked, “What do you do?”<\/p>\n
“Oh, I used to teach. Tell me what you do.”<\/p>\n
I told him, and he was so charmingly interested. I tried to ask him more about himself, but he was so interested in my stories he had no time to tell his own.<\/p>\n
I didn’t hog his attention the whole night. In fact, I saw him move around the room, and engage person after person in rapt conversation.<\/p>\n
He was really interested, and people really wanted to tell him what they were up to.<\/p>\n
I remembered self-admonition to tone it down. But when I saw this guy in action, I could see what I was trying to achieve.<\/p>\n
He was more interested than interesting.<\/p>\n
I mean he wasn’t trying to be interesting to these people at the party. He didn’t have anything to prove.<\/p>\n
He was interested. He was interested in me, and in hearing what all kinds of people had to say.<\/p>\n
And it was easy to tell him, because he really wanted to know.<\/p>\n
Which means, years later, never having met him again, I remember this man. He made a lasting impression on me.<\/p>\n
And it wasn’t even his goal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A couple years ago, I was invited to a party with a lot of college professors. I found myself sitting next to a professor emeritus. I was nervous to go to this party, because I didn’t know many people. I’ve … Continue reading