I’ve accomplished somehting recently.<\/p>\n
I lost 33 pounds. I lost it, then i gained some back then I lost what I gained plus a little more.<\/p>\n
I’ve been working on losing some number of pounds since I was a teenager. Do this day, the smell of chocolate slim fast brings me right back to my first year of community college.<\/p>\n
There was a hashtag a while back #yesallwomen<\/p>\n
the hashtag was meant to be the response to this conversation “Not all men are horrible”<\/p>\n
No, not all men are horrible. But all women have met those horrible men and have to watch out for them<\/p>\n
And #yesallwomen can apply to even more.<\/p>\n
Yes, all women have had a number in mind for what they want to weigh.<\/p>\n
So much energy spent on that number. so many thoughts and recriminations and self-flagellation.<\/p>\n
I will tell you, since I have lost my 33 pounds I have noticed more attention from men. More lingering gazes. More hugs.<\/p>\n
Hmm.<\/p>\n
Reminds me of a time…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I had just had my baby, and i was still nursing. This was not a time when I felt comfortable or beautiful in my body. Post-pregnancy I had a weird shape, with floppy skin on my stomach and piles of extra flesh on my hips.<\/p>\n
Yes, making a life and feeding that life with my body was a revelation. But beautiful I was not.<\/p>\n
I was stretching to hit presentable.<\/p>\n
Right that same time, things were getting weird at my job. I was so happy to be back in my job, with something to occupy my mind and my time. But next thing I knew my boss was being fired.<\/p>\n
Wait, what? What did this mean?<\/p>\n
And we had a new boss.<\/p>\n
Who is this guy? What’s he going to be like? And how ‘Interim” was this?<\/p>\n
He worked in a different building, and i had a reason to go over there one day.<\/p>\n
This was a day that I felt like I had tried at failed to be presentable.<\/p>\n
To be fair, the skirt would have been a comfortable length if my hips weren’t so wide.<\/p>\n
Now, it was shorter than I liked. I felt very lopsided and weird.<\/p>\n
This too shall pass.<\/p>\n
So I went down to the cafeteria and got some lunch.<\/p>\n
As I was getting up to finish, I ran into the the boss.<\/p>\n
“Hello!” I said.<\/p>\n
“hi, how are you?” he responded.<\/p>\n
And his eyes did a long peruse of my body.<\/p>\n
His head even made a tiny nod, following his eyes.<\/p>\n
This was far beyond the usual check-out move. Time stood still.<\/p>\n
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM? I was NOT a candidate for this sort of glance. I was not at all at my best, and what kind of terrible taste did this person have to check thisl lumpy body out?<\/p>\n
and he was my new boss!<\/p>\n
I excused myself, and like the classic female I am, I ran to the bathroom.<\/p>\n
I blinked at the mirror. My eyes wide in shock. Emotionally, my jaw was dropped, and remained so for the rest of the day.<\/p>\n
What had just happened?<\/p>\n
He wasn’t my boss for much longer. And he never did the head bob ogle again. For the rest of the time that he was my boss, though, I had to wonder how seriously he took my contributions.<\/p>\n
He seemed to. But who knows what lurks in the hearts of men?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve accomplished somehting recently. I lost 33 pounds. I lost it, then i gained some back then I lost what I gained plus a little more. I’ve been working on losing some number of pounds since I was a teenager. … Continue reading