It\u2019s not paranoia if they are really out to get you
-Anonymous
Head of the dojo was teaching the class and wanted us to think:
\u201cYou love hitting the heavy bag, don\u2019t you? It feels good to get that impactBut I started the class asking you to shadow box. Which do you think is harder?\u201d
I thought striking the bag was harder, of course. There is impact!
Sensei disagreed. \u201cShadowboxing takes a lot more control and balance.\u201d
Striking is very satisfying, but it\u2019s a lot harder to keep my form correct and stay on my feet when I\u2019m fighting the idea of an opponent.
I\u2019m shadowboxing right now. I know the blow is coming, but I don\u2019t know when yet and I don\u2019t know exactly how it\u2019s going to land.
This chemo thing sounds pretty nasty, but it\u2019s coming. The surgery took a lot longer than we hoped for me to recover, but just this week I\u2019m getting some capacity back.
Just in time to dread the next thing. Surely it can\u2019t be as bad as the surgery.
But even the surgery wasn\u2019t supposed to be as bad as the surgery.
It doesn\u2019t hit until it hits. Like I\u2019ve learned, I have to keep my feet under my and stay balanced. Check my structure.
It isn\u2019t paranoia but it\u2019s a close cousin. In my weak moments I succumb to resentment. It\u2019s not fair to hit me while I\u2019m down.
Except this impact is peripherally mine. The main impact is meant to be on the cancer disease. The impact on the rest of my body is friendly fire, collateral damage.
I am waiting. It\u2019s coming. I\u2019m trying to stay balanced
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It\u2019s not paranoia if they are really out to get you-Anonymous Head of the dojo was teaching the class and wanted us to think: \u201cYou love hitting the heavy bag, don\u2019t you? It feels good to get that impactBut I … Continue reading