I\u2019m a person who has landed in unfamiliar and dangerous territory. It feel like a sci fi novel, landing on a hostile plane with unknown dangers and environment.
I\u2019ve been used to my body for my whole life, and I have a sense of what I can do and what I can expect.
No more. Experiencing chemotherapy means my body is the dangerous territory. And thisis a long journey so I don\u2019t know how things will change, but I\u2019m pretty sure they will.
A podcast today told me a psychologist truism, that progress towards goals are the source of positive emotions, like hope and enthusiasm. That is exactly what I\u2019m looking for.
Enthusiasm is harder to reach. I\u2019m working to set myself up to make progress.
Progress is also harder to reach.
Not impossible though. Just like an alien planet, I feel like I leapt and skipped so far to get here, and now I\u2019m down to inches.
I\u2019m going to have to apprecieate those inches.
That\u2019s where I\u2019m going to get the hope from. Did I move at all? That counts. Many people don\u2019t.
I will.
I shall remember what I\u2019m able to do, and do those things. I\u2019ve been hopeless before, sometimes.
I don\u2019t have to be now.
It takes effort, will, and determination.
And I will have to take care of myself in all the other ways. Eating and sleeping are harder than they were.
Well, progress there counts too.
I\u2019m not going to lie to myself with toxic positivity, but I desperately want to have some lights of hope in this time.
And even enthusiasm.
I\u2019ll have to keep the faith and do the work to give those to myself.
I am making progress. And I can rejoice.
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I\u2019m a person who has landed in unfamiliar and dangerous territory. It feel like a sci fi novel, landing on a hostile plane with unknown dangers and environment. I\u2019ve been used to my body for my whole life, and I … Continue reading