When I\u2019m looking for a job, I pay a lot of attention to how I look. My clothes, my face, my HAIR, I want to impress. I want that new job, so I grasp for anything I can think of to get a boost.
I will change my outfit, and preen and look at myself from different angles. I am trying to make myself the ONE that interviewer wants. I\u2019ve never met him before, and I\u2019m hoping I can make the connection and get what I\u2019m hoping for.
I\u2019m not the only one who spends time carefully preparing an exterior for the world. I\u2019m trying to show who I am so that I will gain favor and advantage.
But did my hair-do really make the difference?
I\u2019m not looking for a job right now, thank God. But I am wondering about my hair do.
The lease has ended on my hair. It\u2019s mostly gone and will be all the way gone for the rest of the year. The old ways I used to put myself forward in the world are different now. As I submit to the chemo procedure, I\u2019m realizing I have less ability to be impressive in the world.
It\u2019s not so easy. I have to learn new tricks. I have to be satisfied with less.
Or at least something different. If I am clean and decently groomed, that is enough. It\u2019s not required that I be the MOST beautiful. It\u2019s enough to be enough.
It seems my concerns even while I had all my hair may have been superstitious anyway. Enough is as good as a feast.
I\u2019m weaker and less polished than I was. I will have to believe that I\u2019m enough even though I\u2019m less than I\u2019ve been.
I\u2019ll have to focus on being my best in less superficial ways. My thinking\u2014though slower\u2014is still the important part for my job. I can be careful and thorough and not be distracted. That\u2019s the part that I can move my attention to.
And..as I am not feeling good and I am receiving the attention and help of those around me, I want to make sure I give attention and help back.
My value is not just in how I look, but how I can give love and concern to others.
I don\u2019t\u2019 have to do it all. In fact, it could be better if I amplify the efforts of those who want to do more. I could try out how it feels to not do everything. There is something to be learned in that too.
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When I\u2019m looking for a job, I pay a lot of attention to how I look. My clothes, my face, my HAIR, I want to impress. I want that new job, so I grasp for anything I can think of … Continue reading