I\u2019ve always been very hard on myself. Ambition and drive are\u2014were?\u2014my constant companions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The phrase \u201cdo your best\u201d made no sense to my younger self. There was always something more that could be done. Always a way to do it better, do it harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course I haven\u2019t done my best. I\u2019m not dead. There is more that I could do if there is air in my lungs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did come to a gentler understanding of completion in the last several years by comparing myself to the efforts of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Doing my best still allows me to have enough to spare to make to another day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now I\u2019m at another level of understanding my limits. My best today is not what is was a year ago. Nor what it was a month ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I look for inspirational quotes of speeches to lift my spirits as I\u2019m walking through this valley of affliction. Things that used to energize me now seem to have nothing to do with my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My life itself seems unrecognizable. I\u2019m in an alternate universe to be sure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is constant?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My capacity is less than it has been. But I can still do one small thing. I can do the hard thing that used to be easy. But it\u2019s hard now, and it can fulfil my drive and ambition still.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s constant. And it will be cumulative. That\u2019s the treasure I can amass, the accomplishment that seems like losing ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I will have faith and see where I end up a year from today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll take it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve always been very hard on myself. Ambition and drive are\u2014were?\u2014my constant companions. The phrase \u201cdo your best\u201d made no sense to my younger self. There was always something more that could be done. Always a way to do it … Continue reading