\u201cMaintain healthy boundaries.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s a saying I hear from the women\u2019s empowerment culture. It is generally good advice to follow. I am not the only woman who has had difficulty saying no to demands on my time and my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t want to get roped into an obligation that doesn\u2019t benefit me\u2014to accept the guilt or shame someone might be trying to project on me to control me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve joined in exercises with groups of women practicing saying NO!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am sitting here holding a no in both hands. No more medical appointments. No more chemo. No more cancer!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve had enough. This is the last straw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was another scan, and another test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good news! The breast cancer shows no sign of having spread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bad news. A totally separate and unrelated cancer in my thyroid is discovered. They are pleased to tell me that I am cleared for surgery to happen two weeks after my last chemo dose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What?! I want to be done. I don\u2019t want another procedure!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like to throw up a strong boundary wall to protect myself from this intrusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I remember\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are two sides to a boundary. Some things have to be kept out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some things have to be kept in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my case, the enemy in the form of cancer already breached my boundary. I wanted that out.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But since it came in, I want to protect myself by shoving it out.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would not have chosen one cancer, let alone two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Deep breath. It\u2019s here now, so my boundaries have to let the right answer in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am working to be ready to let that surgery happen. That\u2019s holding my true boundary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s the kind of strong woman I choose to be. To say my best NO for myself. When it is hard and requires strength and sacrifice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cMaintain healthy boundaries.\u201d That\u2019s a saying I hear from the women\u2019s empowerment culture. It is generally good advice to follow. I am not the only woman who has had difficulty saying no to demands on my time and my life. … Continue reading