It was this time, a year ago, that i scheduled a mammogram<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn’t expect that to take over my year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to come to terms with the very serious and compelling news that I had breast cancer. That kind of information gets VIP treatment. Almost everything else comes second to this new priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I resent giving up my priorities in favor of something that’s pressed upon me. My priorities are my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cancer though, is different. This is my LIFE I’m talking about, in the teeth of a very serious disease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s not something to bargain with. Except it kind of is. I made this cancer journey–well, the medical treatments to fight cancer journey–my own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was not willing to lie back and take it. I had to find myself and express that I was strong and a fighter throughout it. I kept exercising, and tried to eat healthy things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eating was harder than I thought–30 pounds gained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am very close to being done with these treatments. Done with Chemo and halfway through radiation I will get a scan in January that should reveal that the cancer cannot be found in my body<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ok. what then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have to recover from this fight…from the poisons I have put into my body to kill the disease. It hasn’t left me unscathed. I have lost my beautiful hair. It’s going to come back changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am NOT willing to be weak and tired going forward. But it looks like I will be for a while longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How can I shorten that time? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because i WANT that energy, that stamina, clarity and creative expression. Why did I go through this if not for that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want to redeem what i bought with the suffering. I want to SPEND my life on the very best life has to offer.
i need a plan. I need to turn from the easy and the cheap to the precious and valuable.
Taking the time to think about what I value and set away from the cheap will help me spend wisely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I bask in the wind-down of christmas, and the ramp-up into the new year my perspective has changed a lot. My faith is stronger, but humbler too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hadn’t realized what a small thing i am in the face of the cosmos. There is so much that is outside my control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And still, of the things that are inside my control, there are so many actions I can choose to take. I am small but mighty, and I can choose to be persistent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Persistance brings down any barrier. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was this time, a year ago, that i scheduled a mammogram I didn’t expect that to take over my year. I had to come to terms with the very serious and compelling news that I had breast cancer. That … Continue reading