It\u2019s hot today. Except, I know this is going to be read when the heat wave is past. I can see that far into the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still, today, this day I am sitting in, and writing in is too hot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last year was filled with a lot of medical things that took up the space. Poisoning and surgeries that took my strength. I had to keep my focus on what I could do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to shrink down because the iceberg I was floating on was shrinking. What was possible? Less than yesterday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s possible today? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How\u2019s today looking? How many steps can I take around this life I\u2019m floating on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Huh. I am seeing that it\u2019s more than it used to be. This iceberg is getting bigger<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am I willing to go further than I have before? Am I willing to go further than I did before?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a short push when the iceberg was small. It\u2019s longer walk now that it\u2019s bigger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is my world as big as it was before? It seems like it might be smaller.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That could be a story I\u2019m telling myself. It\u2019s possible that the borders are bigger, but I\u2019m afraid to push my limits<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t so afraid when I knew the limits were small. I walled off opportunities from myself for a while. I assumed that it was too far. It was too far at that time, and I didn\u2019t want to be frustrated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was before. What\u2019s my story now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like the old explorers, I might be putting mythological monsters on the edges of what I know. It could be excuses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know where the edge is until I hit it. And it could be different from day to day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is easier now that I don\u2019t\u2019 have to push against the medication. But the truth is, I still want to be strong and the best I can be. It\u2019s still true: I don\u2019t know my limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I do know I can go further than I could a year ago.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s hot today. Except, I know this is going to be read when the heat wave is past. I can see that far into the future. Still, today, this day I am sitting in, and writing in is too hot. … Continue reading