After the big life adventure of two surgeries, chemo and radiation last year, I\u2019m on the maintenance plan with my doctors. I do appreciate that they are motivated to keep checking on me. I\u2019ve had them do two different scans already to see if anything suspicious pops up<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They decided that second scan was suspicious, and they set me up with a neck Biopsy to check if the thyroid cancer was growing back. This is what maintenance means: keep calm and carry on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think of Schroedinger\u2019s cat. I have to be ok with that ever cat or not-cat might be in the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s an expertise I didn\u2019t have two years ago. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One thing that helps keep me from thinking too much about whether the thyroid cancer is there is my black belt testing. I know that thyroid cancer is highly treatable, so I decided I could withstand if the cancer needed another treatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BUT! The last couple biopsies hurt quite a lot. And with my focus on the black belt training, I don\u2019t want to slow down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At class the night before the biopsy, Sensei had me practicing a swift kick to the head. We\u2019d done this move before, and it was fun to do the quick unexpected move on one another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I always think it\u2019s too hard, but with the Sensei\u2019s encouragement I surprise myself. I can do this!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next day, lying back the nurse arranged the pillows so that my neck was stretched out to give the team the greatest access to get up in there with a needle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to sit very very still and let stick a needle in my neck. For a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a whole team there doing it very carefully. I had to keep my mind occupied while they did this thing I would rather not be doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remembered that while they were stabbing me in the neck, I could kick them in the head. I had practiced it the night before and gotten even better at it. While I lay there, not moving a muscle I visualized all the small movements it took, the muscles I had to use direct my kick up to a person\u2019s head and make a hit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It helped a lot to pass the time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will sit here while you do this. I will let it happen. I make the choice to allow it. Because I could choose to kick an attacker in the head. It made a difference to know it was my choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But just because the fighting never stops, I got the call while I was finishing this post. Shroedinger cat was in the box. One of those spots was indeed more cancer. I\u2019ll need another surgery in a couple months. I\u2019ll chase that one down and get rid of it too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
After the big life adventure of two surgeries, chemo and radiation last year, I\u2019m on the maintenance plan with my doctors. I do appreciate that they are motivated to keep checking on me. I\u2019ve had them do two different scans already to … Continue reading