I am willing to feel better finally, after my surgery<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the lymph system complications<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And THEN the flu<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am willing to feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had falling in a hole of misery, honestly. I had been feeling like I was never going to get out of the part where I felt horrible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it reminded me of other times I felt horrible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I certainly have a lot of experiences to remember as I\u2019ve gone through the cancer treatments of the last two years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I tossed around tired and restless on my bed of sickness I would remember these other times and feel like they were happening again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or that they had never stopped<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or that they never would stop<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did I mention the hole of misery?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am willing to feel better. I am trying to feel better. At the beginning of the year, I am hoping for positive things. Or at least I am willing to try to hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This seems like a good time to get out of my own head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But how do I do that? My head is where I live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had a friend talk to me on the phone. She had good news, and I was able to celebrate with her for a good while. That was a wonderful break from the doom rolling around in my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then today I called another friend, because she is going through a challenging time. I figured she\u2019d be too busy but I could leave her a message wishing her well. TO my surprise, she picked up and we had a long catchup call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two days in a row that I managed to leave my negative thoughts for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems that while I live in my head, I can also invite others to use the space there more productively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would be good for me this year, to think of others and give myself a break.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am willing to feel better finally, after my surgery And the lymph system complications And THEN the flu I am willing to feel better. I had falling in a hole of misery, honestly. I had been feeling like I … Continue reading