I\u2019d like to think I was on the track and moving forward. My cancer journey put me on a side track, a maintenance track for quite a while. But wasn\u2019t that supposed to be over?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to do what I could do to get through it. Shrinking horizons and lowered standards changed my world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, back at the rest of the world, this new thing was catching on:
AI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Artificial Intelligence. It will give an explanation, organize and create long reports. Its great!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, it is pretty good. Be reasonable, it\u2019s a computer after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would seem the whole world was also shrinking its expectations. Sufficient is better than excellent. Don\u2019t expect too much, but it will do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I\u2019m trying to get my feet under me and be excellent once more, is that no longer fashionable? What moved out from underneath me while I was under that burden? I see that society is looking for more of the ordinary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Excellence has always been rare. The easiest path is the one worn down with frequent use. That only makes sense. The harder thing is less traveled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am looking for my old habits that I once had and I want to take up again. Except nobody is asking me to. I am struggling to find the reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is my higher self a memory of an adventure I once had?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWasn\u2019t that crazy? aahhhh\u2026.\u201d As I settle in and arrange the pillows around me. \u201cOnce upon a time, I was really something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once. Am I that same person?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll be honest, I have foggy ambitions. I do know that I\u2019m disappointing myself by not going deeper for more clarity. Just like I would be if I cut and pasted in an AI response without adding my own spark. I could easily sit back and coast on all that I created before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Doing nothing now wouldn\u2019t take away from what I\u2019ve already done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Except<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t want to be done. I know that I need to find an inspiring challenge. It\u2019s been a long journey back to myself. There is a lot of rubble to put back in order. The wild beasts have made their nests in this life of mine while I was away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But this is my life, and I\u2019m not going to share it with anyone who hasn\u2019t fought for it like I can and do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019d like to think I was on the track and moving forward. My cancer journey put me on a side track, a maintenance track for quite a while. But wasn\u2019t that supposed to be over? I had to do what … Continue reading