The duckling had satisfied himself with what he was: Ugly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He had a good personality. Or that\u2019s what he told himself for consolation. His very weird bleached feathers could maybe seem interesting, but try not to bring attention to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seemed obnoxious and off-putting to be as white and big as he naturally was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one else seems to care that he keep himself nice so he stopped making the effort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t work to stay too clean. All the others around him were speckled. Was he supposed to be slovenly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a difference though. He knew the other birds around him were clean. They naturally had speckles, and he could only get them if he didn\u2019t wash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He liked being clean. He didn\u2019t feel like himself when he was speckled and dirty. But he didn\u2019t like standing out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Things weren\u2019t comfortable either way. If he didn\u2019t make the effort, he could be speckled and blend in with the others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every once in a while he couldn\u2019t stand it anymore and was as clean\u2014as white, smooth and sparkling as he could possibly be. He would strut around alone, feeling fine and handsome in his natural state.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He felt he had to hide at these times, but he still wanted to feel his full self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow else will I be recognizable to my people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I find them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If they exist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m piggybacking on a well-known story. The ugly duckling is a comforting story of the true nature finding belonging and appreciation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If that duck was trying to find his people, I\u2019ve been trying to find myself again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know who I am, I know what I\u2019ve been capable of. But somehow this year I started to let things that made me ME slip away.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m getting ready to publish my 5th<\/sup> book, a handbook. This weekly wonder, this substack is my weekly proof that I\u2019m a writer. Past performance was not enough for me, I keep this blog up so I feel it in my bones. I am a writer because I write.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although I\u2019ve kept up with writing every week, I haven\u2019t really saved my writing. I have always made a careful point of saving each offering in it\u2019s file. Somehow I stopped this year. Did I start neglecting even last year\u2026?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This year I also stopped tracking my books. I have kept a list of them for more than 10 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But this year I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s happening? How do I explain this change?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Like the ugly duckling that comforts himself in his laziness. I have not felt like myself, and I let things slide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t \u2018know what is possible this year, but I don\u2019t want to settle and not show up as my best self. Come on Ducky! Brush off the dusk and see what you can be. There is a big world out there.The duckling had satisfied himself with what he was: Ugly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He had a good personality. Or that\u2019s what he told himself for consolation. His very weird bleached feathers could maybe seem interesting, but try not to bring attention to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It seemed obnoxious and off-putting to be as white and big as he naturally was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No one else seems to care that he keep himself nice so he stopped making the effort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He didn\u2019t work to stay too clean. All the others around him were speckled. Was he supposed to be slovenly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a difference though. He knew the other birds around him were clean. They naturally had speckles, and he could only get them if he didn\u2019t wash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He liked being clean. He didn\u2019t feel like himself when he was speckled and dirty. But he didn\u2019t like standing out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Things weren\u2019t comfortable either way. If he didn\u2019t make the effort, he could be speckled and blend in with the others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every once in a while he couldn\u2019t stand it anymore and was as clean\u2014as white, smooth and sparkling as he could possibly be. He would strut around alone, feeling fine and handsome in his natural state.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He felt he had to hide at these times, but he still wanted to feel his full self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow else will I be recognizable to my people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If I find them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If they exist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m piggybacking on a well-known story. The ugly duckling is a comforting story of the true nature finding belonging and appreciation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If that duck was trying to find his people, I\u2019ve been trying to find myself again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know who I am, I know what I\u2019ve been capable of. But somehow this year I started to let things that made me ME slip away. I\u2019m getting ready to publish my 5th<\/sup> book, a handbook. This weekly wonder, this substack is my weekly proof that I\u2019m a writer. Past performance was not enough for me, I keep this blog up so I feel it in my bones. I am a writer because I write.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although I\u2019ve kept up with writing every week, I haven\u2019t really saved my writing. I have always made a careful point of saving each offering in it\u2019s file. Somehow I stopped this year. Did I start neglecting even last year\u2026?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This year I also stopped tracking my books. I have kept a list of them for more than 10 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But this year I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s happening? How do I explain this change?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Like the ugly duckling that comforts himself in his laziness. I have not felt like myself, and I let things slide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t \u2018know what is possible this year, but I don\u2019t want to settle and not show up as my best self. Come on Ducky! Brush off the dust and see what you can be. There is a big world out there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The duckling had satisfied himself with what he was: Ugly. He had a good personality. Or that\u2019s what he told himself for consolation. His very weird bleached feathers could maybe seem interesting, but try not to bring attention to them. … Continue reading
<\/p>\n\n\n\n