New year new me right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m trying to remember who I used to be. I did have an old me. Is this new me going to be an improvement?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m really ready to get into a version of myself that I\u2019m pleased with. Can I remember that person?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like looking back through a fog, I can see the outlines of the person I used to be. That person used to get up int eh morning eager to get moving on the adventures and the challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s been two years of cancer treatments and I\u2019m not quite done. I am tempted to think of it as an alternate reality that is separate from real life. But is it? It\u2019s not like time stopped while I\u2019ve gone through the treatments. Life has been happening for everyone else while I\u2019m doing these things. Maybe it\u2019s happening for me top, if I choose to see it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Could I manage that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m finding faith for small things again. Small things that can turn into big things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I may not be able to see myself as strong and whole as I\u2019m stuck in recovery. Honestly, I\u2019m struggling with faith in myself right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The good news is I don\u2019t have to work on believing in myself. I have to find a way to do things that will help me get strong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even things that don\u2019t feel strong. Like sleeping. And eating food that will sustain me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t WANT to do those little things. I want to be mighty and fast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Turns out, those little things have to be repeated enough so they can add up to me being mighty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or at least mightier.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
New year new me right? I\u2019m trying to remember who I used to be. I did have an old me. Is this new me going to be an improvement? I\u2019m really ready to get into a version of myself that … Continue reading