We are so aware that this is our last \u2013our only\u2014child and this is her last year of school. We all know things are going to change as she will move away and go to college. In this state of mind I feel very loving and generous to this precious person. And I also know she doesn\u2019t need me to do that much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have worked all these years to help her be independent. There are so many things a person must do when they are on their own. I have taught her some things, like laundry and cooking. My impulse is to do all those things for her now. I fear could be counter-productive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Certainly, when I was a kid I had to do more than most kids are expected to do now. More than I expected her to do. Sometimes I have come up to dishes in the sink and said \u201cYou didn\u2019t realize that the magic fairy who takes care of these dishes if off duty today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She will look shamefaced. It doesn\u2019t happen very often anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m looking back to remember when I was a teenager and a twenty-nothing year old. I had to do some dumb things to learn how to be the capable mom that I am.
I remember making different sets of keys because I was always losing them. I started with making a spare set. Then I would lose both sets. I had 5 different sets of keys before a friend gave me the advice of hanging a hook by the front door and always putting my keys there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Magic!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A huge problem solved so easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It wasn\u2019t magic, though. It was me making a change, upon advice. I struggled and tried different solutions. In the end I was my own fairy godmother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Same things with my career, and my marriage. I got up, struggled, arranged my face into the smile required to make a place for myself among civil society. I tried things, learned things, got some results I wanted and others I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It helps to be around people who pay enough attention to my life to give good advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I learned to trust myself to keep trying and get closer to what I am aiming at.
I trust that she will go after what she wants. My girl is so capable. I\u2019ll have to let her make the kind of mistakes that she can learn from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me peel that away. She\u2019ll be fine. What about me?
Am I ready to do the work to make my next magic story? I\u2019ve kept track of my keys for her whole life. Now I think I need to open the lock on a next level.
She is hungry to grab life. I\u2019ve had my first trip through that buffet. I also know that it\u2019s a lot<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve learned that habit too\u2014practicing the magic of the struggle. To get up, try things, and then try again to get even closer. Those godmothers make it look easy. Magic takes a lot of practice. We\u2019ll each work under our own hats.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We are so aware that this is our last \u2013our only\u2014child and this is her last year of school. We all know things are going to change as she will move away and go to college. In this state of … Continue reading