A while back, I had emailed an old friend. We were catching up on each other’s lives, and I told him I was studying to get my english degree.<\/p>\n
“Oh, that’s great! I’ve always wanted to get an english degree.”<\/p>\n
I asked him what was stopping him. I mean really, of all the goals in life, that one is very easy. It’s written down on paper–a checklist!–what you have to do to make it happen.<\/p>\n
That’s one of the good things about academia. You can’t miss. It is absolutely clear what it takes to get the prize.<\/p>\n
Not too much after that I graduated.<\/p>\n
Which meant it got harder. What was next? The paved road ended. It was time to break a new trail.<\/p>\n
But it wasn’t exactly a new trail. There seems to be always another degree. I could get a masters degree in something. OR a doctorate.<\/p>\n
But I couldn’t quite figure out what the point of it was. What was it for? What did I really want?<\/p>\n
maybe, as it happened, i just wanted a prize.<\/p>\n
Prizes are good. They MEAN something. In fact, prizes usually state very clearly what they mean:
\n“For excellence in running the 100 yard dash”
\n“First place in Watermelon growing”
\n“For excellence in the study of diversity in the humanities”<\/p>\n
I love prizes. Well, there are some that are meaningless. The kidn that everyone gets just for showing up are not highly valued by me.<\/p>\n
But I like prizes. In fact, I try to create little things in my life that are like prizes…Like a ‘win’.<\/p>\n
Getting up and going to the gym in the morning…that’s a win.
\nMeeting the bus is a win.<\/p>\n
Those are little things that I can accomplish that make me feel good.<\/p>\n
So I can stack up all the little things in my day and feel like a winner.<\/p>\n
Lately though, the little things aren’t feeling like enough. I want more.<\/p>\n
I want wins that take more than a day to accomplish. I want that kind of prize.<\/p>\n
I can’t see over the hill though. I passed the flat valley a while back. All the easy prizes, the ones that I wanted to try for, I already got.<\/p>\n
What is the next one? I can’t see over the hill.<\/p>\n
Or maybe I can. But it’s a long walk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A while back, I had emailed an old friend. We were catching up on each other’s lives, and I told him I was studying to get my english degree. “Oh, that’s great! I’ve always wanted to get an english degree.” … Continue reading