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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nIt\u2019s not easy. We weasel our way out of it. She calls out\nthe sneaky tactics. I know I\u2019ve cheated and not invited the opposition to a\nplanning meeting. I\u2019ve thought \u201cI already know that person won\u2019t like it, so\nI\u2019ll go AROUND him and get what I\u2019m looking for.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n She calls this \u201cconflict debt.\u201d It is building up a bunch of\nbaggage that will need to be dealt with eventually. And it doesn\u2019t\u2019 smell\nbetter with age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know I\u2019ve wasted years of my life avoiding conversations.\nI\u2019ve left jobs because I couldn\u2019t see a way around it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This book made me rethink everything. That one co-worker I\ncouldn\u2019t stand for YEARS? What if I\u2019d said something earlier? How would things\nbe different? Even if he didn\u2019t change, I wonder if I would have been happier\nif I\u2019d spoken and been true to myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And what if I tried it in now? That just got real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Liane has chapters for that. If I\u2019m supposed to start\na new habit of facing the conflict, I need some scripts. She has some good\nones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I like the \u201ctwo truths\u201d where she suggests stating the two\nviewpoints in conflict. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The customer says they didn\u2019t get the equipment that was\nshipped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The warehouse is hot, swearing that they shipped it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m the PM so I call I meeting to come up with our plan.\nWarehouse is so mad they\u2019re barely speaking. Salesguy is not about to back down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After some tense discussion I say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOur customer says they did not receive the equipment.\nWarehouse says they shipped it. This can\u2019t be the first time this kind of\ndiscrepancy has happened. What was done when this happened before?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n No blame. I stated things clearly. This broke the logjam.\nWe got a plan for action that everyone could agree with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s what we avoided: months of back and forth finger\npointing and business lost because of poor service to our customer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s what developing a conflict habit can do. It\u2019s not\nimpossible. People can learn, and things can change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019d like more of that. I\u2019m going to read this book more than\nonce. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n Written by Murphy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I don\u2019t like to fight. I can be clear with my opinions, but sometimes when I get resistance, I can compromise to reach consensus. Can\u2019t we all just agree? I don\u2019t like how that feels. I\u2019ve had that after-the-fact burn … Continue reading
\nI\u2019d like to be poised and articulate in tense moments. That\u2019s why\nI picked up this book. I was not disappointed. Liane Davey gets it. The Good\nFight<\/em> shares how she learned to take her \u201cconflict avoidant\u201d instincts and become\na person willing to have the fight that needs to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n