The consultant was not happy with me. He\u2019s been working and\ncreating all the systems we need at my new job. I just got there, and I was telling\nhim to do it different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d only just got there. He\u2019d been keeping it together for\nmonths. So, when I sent a message relaying the new requirements I\u2019d been given,\nhe had a terse answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to call him to understand what he meant. When we were\nactually talking not just typing, the frustration came out. We had to hash it\nout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some things were said. Some things needed to be heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we got there. I told him, \u201cPlease understand, I appreciate\nthat you told me how you see this. I have learned, as long as we keep talking,\nwe are still working towards a solution.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To take a line from Oprah, this is something I know for sure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My only hope to hang on to rescue is to stay in the conversation.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hang on like I\u2019m hanging on to a floating plank after a\nshipwreck. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know I\u2019m going to need all the help I can get to make it\nthrough this storm of life. If I\u2019m in it with other people, we have to keep talking.\nI don\u2019t\u2019 know what hurts you if I don\u2019t hear you say \u2018ouch.\u2019 I won\u2019t know what\nis important to you if you don\u2019t tell me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That conversation means I have to say it. And I have to\nlisten for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have to be in it and stay in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because our minds are so very creative, we can come up with\na hundred ways to interpret what we hear. We have to let each other know if we\u2019ve\ngetting hot or ice cold on the interpretations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also, there has to be room to change course when things\nchange. Lots of blocks can come in that require a new plan. That takes even\nmore discussion and decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me and my consultant had a tense conversation, but we stayed\nin it and got through. I feel confident that we built trust with one another\nthat will help in future disagreements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our working relationship is stronger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Conversations with family work the same way. It may be uncomfortable\nto share how things make me feel, but if I want to grow trust I have to stay in\nthe conversation. Anything less is abandoning the people I love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pulling a mask over my feelings, stifling my voice means we\nare not in the game anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want to be heard. I want to hear you. I\u2019m going to stay. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The consultant was not happy with me. He\u2019s been working and creating all the systems we need at my new job. I just got there, and I was telling him to do it different. I\u2019d only just got there. He\u2019d … Continue reading