I was taught about Fight or Flight. In college I learned\nabout tend and befriend,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s what women do<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had a strong experience with this. There had been a new\nmanager in my department at work. She worked in a different town but I\u2019d had a\nfriendly email conversation with her and we had agreed that the next time she\nwas in my town we could meet. A few\nmonths later she sent me an invite, and I assumed that was what it was for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nI had to reschedule it for later in the afternoon, because I had a meeting\nelsewhere that morning. So I found the conference room she had reserved for us\nand as we sat down, I said I was happy\nwe could finally meet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank you for coming. I scheduled this meeting to tell you\nthat this is your last day workin for us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh. I was being fired. And she had been firing people all\nday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was still in the frame of mind that i wanted to be\nfriends. I saw here, understood that she was doing something hard, firing\npeople all day. And I asked her how she was doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I understood that was was happening was something I should\nfight, or try to stop. But I had no way to do that, and I leaned into the\nbefriend instinct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It felt more natural to check in on others than to make sure\nI was ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me and my daughter began studying martial arts nearby. The\nsensei showed me a new way to think about myself\u2014if violence is brought to me,\nI should do what it takes to end it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I could run away (flight) that is a good choice. If I\ncould stop the violence by attacking (fight), I should be able to be effective\nand decisive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had never thought about my body being strong and capable\nin that way. Since I have been practicing, I have became strong and\nskilled. Women have fight or flight\ninstincts too, but me and many other women have been trained to repress them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
March 8th<\/sup> is international women\u2019s day, had you\nheard? Women all over the world are trained to smile, befriend others while\nbeing gentle. Me and my daughter are training to use shouts and strength to\ndefend ourselves and others from violence. It\u2019s pretty late in my life to\nrealize I don\u2019t always have to be nice. I am glad my daughter is hearing that\nshe has the right to fight for herself, and is practicing how to do it. Strength helps, but it takes less strength\nthan I would have thought. Mostly it takes a belief that we are allowed to\nfight for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I was fired those years ago, I couldn\u2019t fight her to\nkeep job. Punching wouldn\u2019t have helped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It took me several months after that to find my next job. I\nnearly gave up looking, feeling sure I had no value to give to the world at\nthat time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I barely had the fire to fight for what I wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But at the last minute, a hopeless job application that I almost didn\u2019t turn in got me a job. And I found some hope, and I kept going. I found the strength and faith to fight for myself, and the job I wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Women are so much stronger than we think we are. We will tend others, and befriend new people.\nAnd we can fight for everyone. Congratulate to you for International Woman\u2019s day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was taught about Fight or Flight. In college I learned about tend and befriend, It\u2019s what women do I had a strong experience with this. There had been a new manager in my department at work. She worked in … Continue reading
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\nThat is the woman that I am, and the one I am raising my daughter to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n