The voice mail went “My nae is Troy McClure—I am a best selling author and holder of several patents. I will be calling you on Wednesday at 9 Am to discuss a project manager position with the Department of Excellent at my University.”

What kind of fool was this? Who talks like that? And he didn’t even ask if I was free at the time.

I wanted to hear what would happen on Wednesday at 9 AM.

I answered, ready to hear what this was. Yes, he was real. He did have a job opening. And after a few more minutes—most of which were spent talking about himself—he asked me for a second interview.

I didn’t actually meet him.

But I had a second interview with the people at the university, and they were tougher. I even had to do an impromptu presentation on a topic of their choice. Like homework.

But I was in!

The best selling author had gotten me excited about the work. I was ready to get down to it.

He called me on the phone every morning to dump his vision of the work on my head.

I was all in! I swam thought it to find the tasks I could work on.

I wanted to get going on it. We had a department to grow—a Department of Excellence.

No one else was in the department. Just me, because the other people were still to be hired. I did what I could fish out from the daily phone dump with the Best Selling Author.

By the first week I proudly showed what I had done. Look!

No pause, but the dump on this call now included a request that I stay in my lane.

Then he paused “I am going to love you.”

How wonderful! I was making progress.

If only I could make sense of the lane he wanted me to stay in. I was doing what he said needed done. I must just need to do it harder.

After two weeks, another person arrived in the department. I shared what I’d been hearing from the daily phone dumps. She was as lost as I was. And then the next person arrived. She was not informed, but she was more guarded. Probably she wanted to wait and see for herself.

So after the fourth week, the Best Selling Author stopped speaking to me.

And  the guarded women did too.

I went from being totally along for two weeks in this department to working with two—no, three, if I included the absent Best Selling Author—people who wouldn’t speak to me

Hm.

Was this growing pains? What this a challenge I had to work through?

Reluctantly, I went and talked to HR. They were as vague as HR is required to me.

Walkign back to my desk in the ice cold department of excellence, I decided I was going to make them fire me if that was their intent. I was the innocent victim here.

But those two women in the office with me. How could I unfreeze things?

I formed an irresistible strategy.  In the morning I walked up to the ice queen’s desk.

I stood and said:

“Why did the pirates go to the Caribbean?”

She glued her eyes to her screen.

I stayed.

I waited.

She looked up at me, despite her strong aversion, and said:

“Why?”

“Because the wanted some ARRR and ARRR”

I gave her a huge smile.

The other women laughed. Ice queen was on her back foot. Her snarls were out of place now.

So for that mornin I could repeat the punchline and make a place for myself on the battle ground.

6 weeks after I started, I was asked to go to a meeting at the other side of the campus. It was an 8 minute walk. The person who gave me the second interview was there, along with HR. Sign this, and clear your desk. You are done.

It is usual for fired employees to get escorted off my security. They knew the security gaurds had become my friends, so the university official said he would walk me.

8 minutes of a walk to my desk. Then to my car.

I said nothing. He did try to make conversation to make nice. Silence is loud.