I started a new job three weeks ago. Three years ago, I was working in a job that lasted nine years. Then they laid me off. So in the last two and a half years, I’ve had six jobs.

I didn’t love that job that lasted for nine years. I wasn’t sorry to leave. But even though people there were mean to me, it was maybe 1% better than having no one notice me at all as I was looking for work.

Those old co-workers were horrible, but nobody can be as horrible to me as I can be to myself.

All alone, trying to figure out how to get the attention of these hiring managers, I struggled. Is this resume right? I read all the advice and all of it conflicted. As I doubted by job application’s worth, I doubted my own worth even more.

Maybe they were right to ignore me. Maybe I was a terrible worker and I would justifiably never work again.

So. I turned to my beloved Internet. I had been posting a little bit, and people wished me luck. But because I was so desperate for a light at the end of the tunnel, I invented a story.

If I worked to apply for 100 jobs, sometime before I hit 100, I would have an offer. I started to share this story with my Internet friends. Job application 1 submitted, 99 more to go. I even amped it with hashtags:

#jobsearchrockstar #diligencediva

I was acting like it would happen. I was not at all sure it was true, but I decided that believing it was true was better than thinking I would never work again. So when I started to think “I will never work again. I wonder if I will live in a tent in Nevada” I went to apply for another job, and did another post

job application #2

98 more to go

#jobsearchrockstar #diligencediva

It worked the first time. And then I got laid off, and it worked the second time. And then I was FIRED and it worked the third time and the fourth time.

There is a power in stories. I made up a story to comfort myself, and I gave it a happy ending before I got to the happy ending.

I made up a fiction where I was the victorious hero. And then I went and lived that story.

Maybe I need to make the story a little longer, flesh it out PAST the point where I get hired and into the part where I have a lovely experience with a boss that loves me and I can do enjoyable work that is valued.

I’m working on that. So far my new boss seems to like me. I better keep writing this story to stay ahead of the present.

The ending is going to be awesome.

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