It’s hot today. Except, I know this is going to be read when the heat wave is past. I can see that far into the future.

Still, today, this day I am sitting in, and writing in is too hot.

Last year was filled with a lot of medical things that took up the space. Poisoning and surgeries that took my strength. I had to keep my focus on what I could do.

I had to shrink down because the iceberg I was floating on was shrinking. What was possible? Less than yesterday.

What’s possible today? 

How’s today looking? How many steps can I take around this life I’m floating on. 

Huh. I am seeing that it’s more than it used to be. This iceberg is getting bigger

Am I willing to go further than I have before? Am I willing to go further than I did before?

It was a short push when the iceberg was small. It’s longer walk now that it’s bigger.

Is my world as big as it was before? It seems like it might be smaller.

That could be a story I’m telling myself. It’s possible that the borders are bigger, but I’m afraid to push my limits

I wasn’t so afraid when I knew the limits were small. I walled off opportunities from myself for a while. I assumed that it was too far. It was too far at that time, and I didn’t want to be frustrated.

That was before. What’s my story now?

Like the old explorers, I might be putting mythological monsters on the edges of what I know. It could be excuses.

I don’t know where the edge is until I hit it. And it could be different from day to day.

It is easier now that I don’t’ have to push against the medication. But the truth is, I still want to be strong and the best I can be.  It’s still true: I don’t know my limits.

But I do know I can go further than I could  a year ago.