I want to talk about this thing people do. First time I noticed it was when I came back to America from Russia in 1993. People couldn’t wait to talk to me about my trip. I was eager to talk about my adventures and what I’d seen.

What actually happened was I got to hear what other people thought they knew about Russia.

“So you just got back from Russia? Oh man, that must have been amazing. I was just hearing that…”

and he would go on and on to tell me all about what it was like where I just came from.

I would listen, waiting for a chance to tell my experiences. There might come a part where the speaker was so off base I would have to say something.  “No, that is not what it’s like.”

And he would argue with me! “Yes, it’s true! I heard it on the radio.”  My presence at this conversation was ceremonial

This was a long time ago. Why am I thinking of it now?

Because I am looking for a job. The amount of advice I am getting is off the charts. At first I was grateful and did my best to absorb and implement it. To be sure, some of the advice had merit. Until it stacked up and I am tripping over the contradictions.

And I remembered my time back in 1993. All the enthusiastic people needing to tell me.

So strange. They needed to tell me. They couldn’t bear to be interrupted. What were they getting out of telling me things they already knew?

Maybe deep down they knew it wasn’t really that way.

Now, some of the advice givers are virtual. My email inbox is flooded with “7 things to never say in an interview” or “How to get recruiters to call.” These ones are particularly insistent.

For a similar reason. They are self-interested and have something they are selling.

Back in 1993 I learned to be cautious. I knew what it meant when someone approached me all fascinated with my journey. Yes, you sir are fascinating because you once read an article about what I lived.

Some of these emailed articles are useful. Most are not. And after being pulled to ribbons and tied into knots I don’t think I’m listening anymore.

I have to go live it. I have to experience what is happening, look around and see what makes sense. And when I find someone to have a conversation with, eager and wanting to hear, then I know I’ve found something special.