Full moon like all the other full moons before

The moon has been big and round. I walk the dog at night, now that it’s starting to be dark earlier I can see the moon.

Nine years I worked at that job. Many many of those years hurt. I have the memory of a lot of walks when my mind wrestled with the troubles I had.

Years of not knowing what exactly to do. Years of feeling trapped.

and years of being very very determined to find a way.

I looked up at the sky and saw a twinkling light. Oh, no, that is an airplane.

And I remembered that song “Can we pretend that an airplane in the night sky is like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.”

When that song came out I wished and wished that I could find a way to connect with my co-workers.

That I could tell them in a way they would understand how frustrated I was and how much we needed to work together.

I did try. I silent often, but I did try.

Isn’t that how relationships work? Should I make a point out of every dissatisfaction? Or prepare a special confrontation…no, communication..of how I feel and what I’d like?

That is what I chose to do. I chose to give a presentation. I am pleased with what I said.

I was not pleased with how it was recieved.

The next part was escalation. Was I willing to escalate?

not further than I did.

And.

Now.

It’s done.

I remember crying into the airplane lights, wishing for a wish.

It’s done.

It happened. It counts. Not as much as it did while it was happening.

I’m free now. And that counts for a lot.

I’m not sure how much time to give to the painful memories. I do remember them. Yes I do. And…they are done.