Sometimes people like to ask “What celebrity would you love to meet?” They seem to expect a name of a movie star or a rock star. I enjoy movies and music but I am not interested in meeting those people. 

I want to meet people because of their ideas. I have a very short list of amazing thinkers and writers I would love to meet. I’ve spent time with their thoughts and learned things that changed my life. I”m a new and better person because of what these people have brought into the world. Those are the ones I would love to meet: academic celebrity crushes. 

I actually did meet one of these crushes. He lived right in my town and was a professor at one of the universities here. When my friend defended her dissertation and Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi was leading the committee for my friend’s defense. 

I came to hear her dissertation, and I sat in the same room with my hero. 

I felt flamingly guilty the whole time.I wanted to support her, and I tooik time off from work to go. This was a fairly new job, and while I had slipped out for a long lunch and had it blocked off on my calendar. I loved hearing my friend’s fascinating study, and I was thrilled to be breathing the same air as the man who did the work to write Flow. I even raised my hand and asked a question during the audience participation portion. 

After dissertations, there is usually a party with champagne and snacks.I celebrate my new doctor friend with a hug, and Dr. Csikzentmihalyi invited me to stay for a drink and conversation. 

I couldn’t do it. I was afraid, and I was shy. I told myself I would get it trouble if anyone noticed that I was gone at work.It was a new and important job, I told myself. 

But that wasn’t it. I was afraid of meeting my hero, and being seen by him. I ran away. 

This reaction is strange and predictable. I have been that acolyte, irresistibly drawn to the object of my adoration yet a coward at the last moment. Wasting my own time thirsting but not letting it touch my lips. 

There are always reasons not to. There is always a risk. 

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi passed away last year. I had my small moment, and it will not come again. 

That job was terrible and didn’t last anyway. It was foolish to deny myself that conversation. What other tantalizing fruits have I forbidden myself from enjoying? 

I don’t always dare, but I want to 

Dare to eat that peach.