News from the absurd front

I never get a newspaper, like, on paper anymore. But this one was in the plastic wrap and sitting at my bus stop bench. Who could refuse

The front page was grim and scary. But a little deeper, in the California section, I found this story. Here’s the headline:

MUSTARD COMPANY DOESN’T RELISH ANY ATTACK ON ITS NAME

The story goes on to get to the main point:

“THE ONLY THING FRENCH ABOUT FRENCH’S MUSTARD IS THE NAME!” screamed the press release from French’s PR agency. “Recently there has been some confusion as the the origin of French’s mustard. For the record, French’s would like to say there is nothing more American than French’s mustard.”
This comes a a great relief.
If it’s true.

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