Perhaps it is my mood. Perhaps it is in my mind. BUT I have been feeling a malaise of meaninglessnes. That I am not accomplishing anything at all.
I was reading Jasmine by Mukherjee, who is an Indian writer. She is Hindu, and she talked about how in Hinduism is the idea that the most important thing in your life could be the most mundane and insignificant thing.
She was saying that the story that dieties could be stung by a bee that would alter the course of the universe. And the human that placed the vase with the flower on it on their table that particular day…Which attracted the bee…which stung the GOD…was vital to the flow of the universe.
So, you never know what part of your life will alter the cosmos.
I wish I had that sense of importance today.
I do not feel as if I am accomplishing anything of importance.
But maybe it’s just my mood. Maybe I’m still tired from the time change. Maybe I’m still getting over my visit with a crabby co-worker yesterday.
But the fact that no one really cares what I do with most of my time…that’s sad. It’s nice to hear other’s appreciation.
It just takes a lot of mundanity.
But you know what? It just occurred to me today…Organization (which I so dearly love, and into which category falls “meaning”) is like dishes.
I do not enjoy doing dishes. They so quickly become undone. The so quickly become soiled and require the same exact repeat of what I just finished doing!
Why can’t dishes stay done?
But they can’t.
And somehow, organization and meaning don’t stay done. They require the same repeptive action to put them into order again.
Circles and cycles again and again.
We’re getting ready for Easter. Here is is again:
…to fall into decay and death again…
and to be ressurected AGAIN
The cycles circles
and meaning must be reborn every time it dies
Things that made sense to be yesterday don’t always make sense the very next day.
and certainly, ideas that made sense when I started this post may morph into a whole other meaning by the end of the post.
One thing I know, my feelings never stay the same. They always change. At least, the bad ones do…
well, I am going to think a little more about the need to constantly re-do meaning. Maybe I’ll have time to post about it.
But I suspect that the meaningless mundanities will take up all my time.