Smart Abides


So I know this girl–woman, really–who is staggeringly beautiful. Blessed by God.

It must be nice.

I’m not really friends with her. She’s friendly enough. But I’ve never pursued it.

A new friend and I were having brunch last week. Of course we had to start telling the story, the beginning and the middle of how we both got to here. She was talking about some great people who had helped her with her career. Some great people had given her chances and good training.

She’s an accountant.

“That’s so interesting. I had the same experience with my career, but I was in IT. So so many great guys gave me their time and answered my questions. I owe my whole career to people who were willing to help me. I thought that was just a computer nerd thing.”

Earlier this year, another friend was venting about her frustration with IT people and how they were so supercilious and unhelpful. Of course I felt it personally, and said, “I know what you mean. Some IT people are like that, but there are also these fantastic people who love to share what they know.”

“I have never met someone like that. I think they are more rare than you think. You should appreciate them more.”

Hmm. So many teachers and mentors have shown up in my life reliably when I needed them. I rely on it like gravity.

But my new friend had found the same thing in a totally different field. “I wonder if it’s because you were an eager young woman. That can be very appealing.”

Pretty matters. Especially pretty smart.

We are both grateful to the people that helped us. And if my mentors think of me at all, I suspect they are glad they lent a hand.

I think about my super-beautiful acquaintance. And I know why I haven’t pursued friendship. My accountant friend and me are mortal women. Some part pretty, some part brains, knowing we’ve got a long road ahead and heavy load to push up a hill.

Ms. Staggeringly, blessed by God, has quite apparently had someone come along to push the load. Just as regular and reliable as I’ve found teacher, she’s found people who show up to carry it.

It is the gravitation field around her.

Me? I ask questions of those around me like they for sure know the answers. If I keep asking I will find the person who does. And I’m super confident that someone does.

Except…

I’m not young and eager anymore. I’m also less ignorant than I used to be. In my last job I had some trouble finding people eager to share what they knew. I wondered what was wrong. Of course I blamed myself.

Then again as time has gone by, I’m asking tougher questions I’ve picked up the easy stuff, so know my questions require answers from more elevated experts. When I was having trouble finding people to answer my questions at my last gig, they just plain didn’t know.

It wasn’t just the fact that the bloom is fading. This is a new phase.

Ms. Staggeringly isn’t dumb. She’s hitting the same wall I’m sure. That load is one only she can carry. So even if some swain happens by and he is willing to help, he can’t move it. It’s hers to carry.

When I have a question, my first response is to ask everyone I know. And I”m finding more and more that everyone doesn’t know. It’s up to me to figure it out.

I just better hope that the answers I did get are solid foundation to support me. Thanks guys. I suppose I have to take it from here.

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