One of the things Chris brought into my life was old movies. He took me to a theater nearby that showed classic movies to see Lawrence of Arabia. Since I grew up largely without a TV and almost no movies, he was happy to show me these works of art. It made a big impression on me, and I remembered the experience.

This week our now local theater had a special showing of that same movie and we went to see it—this time with 15 year old Veronica. A four hour movie with intermission is not part of modern life.

Chris asked Veronica to look for how Lawrence changed throughout the movie. I saw him as a romantic idealist and was so hard on himself in the beginning.

And by the end so much had changed. 

The film is known for having a lot of space in the scenes. This space gave me room to reflect on myself too.

So much has changed for me between the time I first saw the film with Chris and this second time. More than twenty years for me and the territory of my life is changed.

Lawrence’s influence changed the land that he involved himself in. It’s changed to this day, and history has moved significantly because of what he did.

These twenty years of my life have seen a lot of change. I was more of an idealist then as well. I admire how hard Lawrence went after his goal. I have chased my own as well.

I can see that for him, those goals and ideals were so shiny and pure in the distance. I remember what I thought my goals would be before I achieved them. 

He had changed so much of Arabia. And it was not as shiny and pure as he hoped.

There was a lot I didn’t know the first time I saw that movie. I’ve covered a lot of ground between then and now. There is still a lot of path ahead. It very well could be difficult.

What I remember from the movie is this dialogue and the start. Lawrence makes a point of putting out the match with his bare fingers. His fellow soldier tries it, and declares “Ooh! It damn well ‘urts!”

Lawrence gives him a cool look and replies, “Certainly it hurts.
The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.”

I took that in  when I heard it the first time. Life can hit with stuff that hurts. I’ll make it a point not to mind.