Is there anything worse than a big change that is about to happen, then gets delayed but is still about to happen? the tension, the unknown is looming and booming.

I almost want to go back away from the change

and yet the change is already in place. No backing out now.

is the change really going to be different? I’m supposed to envision it, and yet all I am hitting is uncomfortableness. I’m supposed to envision the amazing beautiful future.

my heart hurts in the now. Is it really so simple?