Something happened today. I could tell you what but it doesn’t matter. The specifics are unique and oh so uniform.

Someone said something that made me doubt myself.

There is a Greek chorus in my head waiting to perform when I doubt myself.

They were on a power ballad of JUST how much I suck, how irredeemable and intolerable I am.

I called someone. 

That helped a little. Then I talked to a person in my vicinity. That helped a little more.

My hands got cold and my shoulders clenched.

I didn’t want to feel that way.

Why did I fall right into that self doubt? A very familiar bog. I know it’s stenchy pools well

I was desperate for someone else to give me affirmation. 

“You’re ok”

I wasn’t giving it to myself.

So the tepid conversations I’d had didn’t do it.

I guess sometimes I’m going to fall in the mud.

I will try to have some mercy on myself. I need it especially right then