So, last night was decent as far as sleep goes.
But the night before was really bad. And when I have a bad day, tunnel vision is a real problem. Whatever is happening right then feels like it’s going to be the way it will be forever. I know it’s not true, but it feels very very true.
Chris was kind, and we went on a walk together. He held the dog’s leash and I pushed the stroller almost like it was a walker. Veronica slept.
I said “I don’t know how things are going to get from here to where we need to be. How will I possibly be able to go back to work? and I have to go back to work.”
“Things will work out. Remember, you are only a quarter of the way through the time between when she was born to when you go back to work. It will be okay.”
only a quarter of the leave is through. That’s not very much. She already can do a lot more than she could a few weeks ago. I can leave her happily in a chair or a swing for long stretches of minutes at a time while I eat or do dishes or laundry or even *gasp* read a little.
So last night I got more sleep, and I am feeling even more hopeful about how this will work out.
Still March April and May to get ready to do what needs to be done. I can have faith that by that time, things will be ready. That -I- will be ready.