Yesterday, Veronica’s grandparents all came to visit, pretty much unplanned and unbeknownst to each other.
Chris’s mom had already volunteered to come help out…which meant holding the baby while I took a nap.
She held the baby like a pro. And I realized that i hadn’t given Veronica away to be held for more than…oh…20 minutes since she was born. My arms felt very empty and I felt almost panicky. But I lay down and managed a nap for about a half hour.
I didn’t think I would sleep, but I knew i had to try.
See, I had called my mom the day before and just cried at her about how hard this was and how I had not sleep and how I was overwhelmed with anxiety at all the responsibility of this little life. She booked a hotel and was driving down to help out over her three day weekend.
So, Chris’s mom held my baby, and I knew that even if I couldn’t fall asleep that day, I had to stay awake and get used to someone else taking care of the baby so that I could fall asleep the next day.
I did sleep for about a half hour, and that was good.
What with all the grandparents coming through and holding my child, she slept a lot…lap naps. I was worried (what CAN’T I worry about right now?) that she wouldn’t sleep through the night. She seemed to have slept all day.
But she slept fine. And I slept better, too. Just sharing the load a little made a big difference.