I’m up to october 2009

It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I don’t want to read it. It’s the part that makes you cry in the movie…the part where you know it’s going to make you cry, and then it makes you not want to watch that movie.

But the movie is a really good movie. And you are glad that you watched it.

But you don’t want to watch that one part. That one part. But that one part is part of the movie.

I think i’ll just leave that part alone for a while.

…

One entry in my blog talked about Gut-ese, or learning to understand what my gut is telling me and listening.

My gut right now is telling me that it is going to get better at an undetermined time in the near future. I know that it has gotten better already.

But.

Experience tells me that bad S happens. That i have tried to call the bad stuff that has been happening ‘the new normal’ and make it okay.

It wasnt okay.

But it’s getting better now. It is. It’s been a stable better for weeks.

But my faith is very ragged. I have to have faith and keep my eyes on the prize.

And maybe that means not reading this blog for a little bit. I’ll finish it later.