a year in the life of a blog

So I re-read the first year.

I like a lot of what I read! But it strikes me that my apocalypse-adjacent experience made me a lot more frightened of free speech.

My first year of blogging was so confident and free. I was pretty sure that I could say anything I wanted and it would be fine, that I had opinions worth exploring and it was

OKAY

It was fine! It was me, building the internet, BEING the internet. My blog in the beginning was something not a lot of people were doing.

Now posting things is a lot my stylized. 140 characters, anyone?

Yeah, I tweet. But..

I BLOG dammit

I blog.

or, I used to

I still kinda do

I used to write up all the books I read and the music I listened to and the news I thought about. my life, other people’s lives, movies, music, friends, encounters

Blogfodder

I had things to say

I have things to say now, too, I have thoughts I am thinking. Back then, i was thrilled to have 10 visitors in a day. I got about that many. I remember I got about 20 odd visitors every day.

Now, I am the only one visiting my blog. Because there are other bloggers out there. Better websites. For mundanity, facebook has filled the need.

I am not exactly mundane. But I am not specialized either. I specialize in being me. I suppose that I am most fascinating to myself. And maybe to those who know me and love me.

Facebook keeps me in touch with friends. But I would rather those friends get to know me by reading my blog. My blog is a lot more of me, or at least the parts of me that are interesting.

From time to time I would write a lengthy email, and repost it as a blog entry. I suppose I could do the same for Facebook.

Or I could go both ways, post a blog on FB.

This internet has morphed. I like it, but I’m not such a superstar anymore.

There is that other thing, too. Right now, I am a

MOM

and that takes up all the space.

mom mother motherhood mom mom mom mom mommy mom mom

all the space, no margins left. Thoughts are difficult to pursue. And I am not so good at thinking and expressing without enough sleep

I’m in a different mental space that my first year of blog