Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp,

Or what’s a heaven for?

Robert Browning

I’ve had three years of learning to live with impairment. Those were years of breaking old habits and picking up new ones.

Like a teenager that can’t drive, I narrowed my horizons significantly.

Three years to break habits of a lifetime.

Is that how it works?

I think what I did is make new habits. Habits of distracting myself as I marked time.

Last week I said I didn’t recognize myself I remembered the person I used to be, doing the things TODAY that I once did years ago.

Times do change. That kid gets a license and starts to see what’s out there.

Or things that were once required get simpler.

Or new distractions dominate my view.

Where’s my jetpack? Wasn’t it all supposed to be done by robots now?

I’ve picked up a book “indistractible” which discusses how to focus again.

Those little jokes and funny memes are the snack food of the mind.

I’m grown and I know how much I will can’t resist certain snacks, and I won’t even let them in the house.

These new habits are starting to smell the same.

My life was different four years ago. A lot changed.

The world changed too.

Same song

Second verse

A little bit louder and a little bit worse

Indistractible points out that our time spent on these entertaining mindsnacks is a way of avoiding boredom, also known as pain.

During the cancer treatments I fostered distraction from pain.

Here on the other side, I shake my head like a dog out of the bath.

I don’t want to avoid pain.

There is reward on the other side.

In principle, anyway.

It is up to me to work the principles out in practice.

Practices from the cancer years are still useful now:

What can I reach for? What is possible today?